Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Why?

You're thinking now she's going to rant on about 'Why me? Why did this have to happen to me?' No, I haven't had those thoughts.....at least not yet. My bff once said "Why not me?" That's right, after all He allowed his only son to suffer and die for us. Things happen...they happen to anyone.
Matt. 5:45 He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
Actually I am thinking 'why am I not a wreck worrying about this cancer that is inside of me?' Why am I just going on with life as normal? Why do I not break down and bawl when I think of my mom on her birthday or Mother's Day?

I am not saying that I don't cry or have my own pity party now and then, I do, but not very often. An act of kindness will often bring a tear to my eye. Normally tears just run down my face, I am not a sobber....and I'm glad. Was I ever? I don't think so......but my memory is so bad that I am not sure.....not a bad thing in this case. 

Sometimes I wonder if I have a heart......I do, I care about a lot of people and things. Maybe I have trained myself not to worry, maybe I trust in God. Guess it's just who I am.

I'm thankful that I am able to 'make hay while the sun shines'. Do you know what that means? I hope I can maintain my good attitude all through this journey until I can say "I'm a survivor."

Thanks for coming along on this journey with me.

9 comments:

  1. Keep making hay while the sun shines!

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    1. We are all wired differently. Just because someone is a sobber doesn't mean they don't have faith.

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    2. Oh, I know that just because someone cries does not mean they don't have faith. I was just wondering why I don't cry.

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  2. It is how He wants you to be. He says to trust in Him and that is what you are doing and you are witnessing this to all. Blessings, Catherine

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  3. You have learned the lesson of living a day at a time. I'm still working on that. Just read a devotion that talked abt the children of Israel. And how some people tried to hoard the manna after being told only to take enough for "that day". I know I would have been one of those hoarders trying to take care of the next day on my own. God's provision is daily and you've got that. Thanks for sharing your journey.

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  4. That's just how we role! Linda I a.m. so glad it is going well for you! I am hoping for round 3 Friday. Think good thoughts for me as I will for you!

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  5. Linda-we may not have same dad but we ARE so much alike. I am not a crier either. I may get teary eyed for happy things for other people. I never cried for mom after her death.(but we had a special bond,and talked about death/after life) The only time I got teary eyed was when we were at the hospital and Amy came in crying. I felt so bad for her. Mom was STRONG and so are WE.

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  6. You and I are a lot alike, Linda. I am not a sobber either- but will tear up over kindnesses and feeling someone else's pain...and I cry every time I think of losing my little granddaughter but I don't dwell on the sadnesses of life. We are tough old birds, Linda! lol xo Diana

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