Sunday, October 23, 2016

Bold Spirit

This an excellent book, don't hesitate to pick it up.
This is a true story. no wonder my friend wants the book back!

'In 1896, a Norwegian immigrant and mother of eight children named Helga Estby was behind on taxes and the mortgage when she learned that a mysterious sponsor would pay $10,000 to a woman who walked across America. 
Hoping to win the wager and save her family’s farm, Helga and her teenaged daughter Clara, armed with little more than a compass, red-pepper spray, a revolver, and Clara’s curling iron, set out on foot from Eastern Washington. Their route would pass through 14 states, but they were not allowed to carry more than five dollars each. As they visited Indian reservations, Western boomtowns, remote ranches and local civic leaders, they confronted snowstorms, hunger, thieves and mountain lions with equal aplomb. Their treacherous and inspirational journey to New York challenged contemporary notions of femininity and captured the public imagination. But their trip had such devastating consequences that the Estby women's achievement was blanketed in silence until, nearly a century later, Linda Lawrence Hunt encountered their extraordinary story'

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Cutting Back and a COnfession

I am cutting back on activities of late.......b/c of heath? weather? or what? Since my sinus infection I seem to be more tired. I don't like to be out at night after 8PM. I like to be in bed by 7PM......I play my games, read, or watch TV.......besides that it is dark so early.
Last week I did not go a local live production. I knew it was going to be good....but didn't want  to go out at night. 
It's cold.............50 is cold to me. I turn the thermostat up to 74 when I am at home.....have to remember to have Kev turn it down at bedtime.
Next weekend I have several reasons not to go to a scrapbook retreat....I get tired so easily. It is only October.....I hope winter goes quickly.
I am cold, tired, and slow.
I have started physical therapy for my neurorpathy ...hope it helps. I am tried of not driving, walking like a drunken sailor, and slurring my words. 
Wish me luck!!!!
I want to make a confession..............I have ACCIDENTALLY deleted one of your posts, I hate it when I do that. Sometimes I check comments on my Kindle and my thumb hits the delete button....and it is gone.....:-( so sorry....I love comments!

Friday, October 21, 2016

Wonders of Autumn

Monday I had an out of town dr appt. It is such a pretty drive to Fond du lac, especially this time of year. I don't get out much so my gf wanted to take me to a gorgeous apple farm. I am so glad she did. It was a perfect day for a lunch visit. 

 the photos do not do the trees justice

 It is a great place for younger children: goats to feed, a peacock, cats waiting to be petted, there's a playground area, corn maze, pumpkin patch, apple orchard....just a beautiful place to soak up some fall. 

 They have cafe with some fabulous looking food on the menu, it was closed so we just drooled and stopped in Valders to eat.
God certainly gave us beauteous trees to gook at

cute planters 
View from the craft barn, lots of wonderful stuff...or a great place to enjoy a nice cup of apple cider or hot chocolate

still have flowers 

fat person by a water fountain

Friday, October 14, 2016

Halloween's coming

Pumpkins are everywhere

So are the jack o'lanterns
 Not my style
 These are cute

Just a few of the pumpkins I've seen around

Dear Lord....

I hate cancer and what it has done to my body and life!!!
Last night I was sooooo upset....
I am battling with feelings  of helplessness, loneliness, incompetence, invisibleness, etc. Last night I just wanted to throw things.  I am better today, but not over it. I hate being helpless and having to ask people, I barely go anywhere, where's my life?, I have a hard time walking, I am much weaker than I used to be. I know I shouldn't complain - so many people have it so much worse - most days I can deal with it. I really try not to complain much, it doesn't do any good. 
I know I can look up Bible verses and probably should do so.
I am thankful to the people that say I look good, that's a positive I can hold on to.
I am not sure what to pray, but YOU do! Dear Lord.....

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Polly's Pumpkin Patch

Saturday we took a short drive to Chilton, Wi for our annual pumpkin patch visit.
We did not have my car and I really missed my Onstar, but we made it.
In the front are the duck races, (pumping water), hay bale 'castle', in the back are the corn cannons (boys love it) - shooting corn out of 'guns' to try to hit targets. They are more games that you can't see. They're free (the wagon ride, corn cannons, and corn maze are $3.)

40' slide, the kids favorite
duck races

Corn cannons.......boys love it!!!
$5 for 8 cobs

The boys and I went on the wagon ride ($3)
We did not walk thru the corn maze - it was too muddy and I can't walk very good on uneven ground. We had a good time............not sure about Kev, he just stood and watched. Later we ate at DQ, boys are hungry people.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Can't Sleep? Me Neither

Millions of people can't sleep so we aren't alone, but we still don't like it. It's 2:12, 3AM, 4 and after.....
What do I do?
I lay there and feel: cozy and warm, slight nausea
I crave: a pickle, Bubbies sauerkraut, Mexican food, seltzer water
I hear: a quiet house, wind rustling through the leaves, as it nears 4AM there is a car or 2 driving past
I see: darkness, I have my eyes shut
I want: 10 more years without pain, God's will, to cry (but I can't)
I think: about writing this post and the Zometa treatment I have the following day

As is almost 5AM I fall asleep, and NO I did not fall asleep early the next night.

I really just want to stay home, in my leggings and sweatshirt, covered up with my blanket and read. Life is OK....'cept for one thing......

Friday, October 7, 2016

Synopsis of the Week


Nausea ✔

Cold      ✔

Cold/sinus getting better  ✔

Tired, always    ✔

Fall weather  ✔

Yes, it's time to find my sweaters and pants. I'm still wearing my leggings, I have a new pair of boots that look great with them.
Tomorrow  is supported to be hurricane here, we are so lucky here in the Midwest. 
Were taking the boys
 to the pumpkin patch/corn maze tomorrow.
Yesterday I had lunch with my grandson at his school. We ate and then he read to me. That was really nice. He's the only one that attends that elementary school this year.
Other than that is was a BAD day.....but after today I think it will be OK.
I am still so very tired about lunch time. Today I kept moving and did not lay down. Napping is not normal for me. I don't know if it's my cancer or the weather. 
I have lots  of plans for next week: therapy so I don't walk like I am drunk, I'm hungry for homemade meatballs, shopping (lucky Kevin LOL), etc. 
Good Night.....more next week.

Tuesday, October 4, 2016


the dictionary definition of pain is: 

  • : the physical feeling caused by disease, injury, or something that hurts the body
  • : mental or emotional suffering : sadness caused by some emotional or mental problem
  • : someone or something that causes trouble or makes you feel annoyed or angry

Pain is not only felt physically, it can be felt emotionally......that hurts too.  Worry is a form of pain...will I be OK? What is going to happen? Do you care about me? Who will care for me? What is happening to me? Am I getting worse? Why can't I remember -fill in the blank???
I am not going to talk about physical pain because i don't suffer from it. 
But, sometimes aren't there days when you just want to take 15 minutes to cry for yourself?
I have been feeling more like that lately.The cooler weather? My emotions? Cancer?
The sinus infection I have?
If you're  a friend of mine you probably haven't heard me speak of it.......and you probably will not: b/c I don't want to burden anyone, I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, and I do not have a reason. I just want to vent and see if anyone else feels this way.

Monday, October 3, 2016

It's Not Over Yet

It's Sunday night, but it won't be over until tomorrow. No matter how old or young, how healthy or sick you are the time just seems to fly by.
The weekend started out with a visit to my sister's. It's an 80 mile trip and too far for my sister to drive, so my friend was nice enough to drive me. We had lunch and visited. Hopefully we'll be able to gather together before Christmas.
OK. it's Monday night so the weekend is over, I get so tired at night that I am ready for bedt at 8pm.
Before we came home our grandson J called me and asked to spend the night.........About a thousand phone calls later we were able to make arrangements. Mom hasn't let him come over for months....the babysitter was sick (so it was convenient for her). Hubby leaves his phone downstairs and does not hear it..... One of my pet peeves.........I can't reach him. Thank goodness my girlfriend was able to stop over and talk to Kevin.
Grandson J made his 'famous' crazy bark.
Another Pet peeve - I don't like putting the dishes away, neither does Kevin.

Saturday I had plans to make my Paper Pumpkin kit from Stampin Up, Jalen went along and only 3 others were there, It was very nice. I was tired saturday night, in fact I have been sooooo tired since last weekend. Sunday I vegged and did not even get dressed, it certainly felt good.  
Kev bought cookie dough from work and promised the guys cookies, so sunday night he made some.

  Today we saw some. so after I finished at the grocery store I took some time to read on the deck.

It was a pretty, sunny night....
 No pretty colors yet, but soon...
Yes, I really need to catch up on my reading.

Friday, September 30, 2016

My Name Is Wonder

 Here is another one of Ronald Chapman's thought provoking, inspirational,  educational books. A goat? Why write about a goat?
But he's not any ol' ordinary goat, he's a wondering, wandering, inquisitive, goat who longs to see more of life, what's outside of the barnyard. As his explorations start he is befriended by a wise, old crow. He travels as far as he can before he ends up in a zoo, where he  makes a new friend. Wonder learns many valuable life lessons along the way. Let your inner voice be your guide. 
One of my favorite quotes is: "Every action matters. Beneath it is meaning that matters even more."
A delightful  novel.
A little about the author:

Ronald Chapman is owner of an international speaking and consulting company, Magnetic North LLC. In addition to international accreditation as a speaker and national awards for radio commentary, he is the author of two novels, My Name is Wonder (Terra Nova Publishing, 2016) and A Killer’s Grace (Terra Nova Publishing, 2016 and 2012), two works of non-fiction, Seeing True: Ninety Contemplations in Ninety Days(Ozark Mountain Publishing, 2008) and What a Wonderful World: Seeing Through New Eyes (Page Free Publishing, 2004) and the producer of three audio sets, Seeing True: The Way of Spirit (Ozark Mountain Publishing, 2016, 2005), Breathing, Releasing and Breaking Through: Practices for Seeing True (Ozark Mountain Publishing, 2015), and Seeing True – The Way of Success in Leadership (Magnetic North Audio, 2005). Ron provides a wide array of social media content, content for people in substance abuse recovery at, and other content from his master site, He holds a Masters in Social Welfare from The University at Albany (New York.) Prior to his relocation to Atlanta, Georgia in 2008, he was a long-time resident of Albuquerque, New Mexico.
Ronald can also be found online at:

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Camp Luther Weekend Away

This was the week we planned a 3 day bus trip to Prairie  Du Chien and Dubuque IA.... a Red Hat trip that was cancelled. I wanted to go away.......I had plans...........I Like to keep my plans.
My friend, who was going on the trip with me, couldn't go on the weekend. I found another friend to go with me. Deb and I have gone several time so she is familiar. But she doesn't like to drive so that adds stress.

Maybe I shouldn't have gone: I have a sinus infection and cough, I was feeling very down (for a number of reasons), diarrhea is no fun, my cancer is terminal and has curtailed many of my activities, the chemo drugs make my stomach feel 'icky', etc.....
Three Lakes, Wi is a long drive, but I enjoy it. Of course we made a couple of 'potty stops' on the way (thank God for indoor bathrooms and extra undies). We had lunch at our usual place....I think we are getting old, no one played the quarter gambling machine. Next we stopped to see an 'old' friend of mine, whom I haven't seen in years. That was a very emotional much of our lives were parallel, we had such fun and sad times. Will I see Marian again???
Drive, drive onto Antigo and to J&P Liquidators, where we made our usual shopping stop - altho much shorter than usual.
We made it to camp, early, as planned, Found our room and settled in. I just vegged under the covers, this time of year may be nice for most people- no humidity and heat, but I am COLD. I chased Deb out of the room with my coughing fits and blowing my nose. I did not attend the evening events, just did not feel good. Friday night sleep did not come easily.
After saturday's breakfast we had Bible study, Bible journaling- I loved it. I was taught not to wreck my Bible, don't bend or mark the pages but now we can color on and write in the margins. I have no artistic tendencies but I like to look at it and pretend I can do it. For the rest of the day I stayed on my own; talked to a few other  retreat goers, had a massage, read, spent time in my room, and sat by the water watching the kids swim...........yes, they were in the water-too cool for me....I was sitting in the sun. I did the Bible study at night but did not watch the movie....I'd seen it and was tired so I stayed in my room. Saturday night I slept really good, but had a terrible sore throat upon waking. 
We had Bible study and secret sister reveal on Sunday morning. And then we were on our way home on a rainy day.
I had some nice talks with camp friends I met in previous years (so nice to see them), shed some tears, had some bathroom mishaps, learned about Bible journaling, etc. All in all I am glad I went.

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

A Book, Bingo, My Back, Baking, Bruises

This is a great book! I would not chosen it on my own, thinking "it's too sad'. It was recommended by one of our members. I am so glad. Until twelve years old Martin was a 'normal' boy. He got sick and no one knew what was wrong, he couldn't talk, eat, or control his limbs....very frustrating. For nine years he just sits in a chair wherever his is placed. He's deemed to be on the lowest end of of the intelligence/rehabilitation scale. Finally he sees flashes of light of his past life and knowledge just appears to him. One of the workers, at the home he spends his days in , takes notice of him, of his eye contact, and she wants to have him tested.
He's tested for the ability to communicate and it is determined that he has the ability. He's outfitted with a word/letter board and finally a laptop. He spells words, learns words and their meaning, he learns to 'speak' the laptop application. Martin works for hours at learning. He studies, works part time, gives speeches, travels, etc. He faced the struggles of every young man, only at an older age. Eventually he works full time and marries.

Another interesting fact is that, although he was not raised a christian or church goer, he knows Jesus and talks to him. How can  you not believe???
Last night I went to bingo with a one at our end of the table won, but it was a nice group. If I go again I'll have to get a dauber, maybe a pretty metallic one???
All day yesterday my back was so sore, I didn't do anything to it. (sad face) The day started out good, with a call from my son.
I couldn't bend over to pick anything up and I could barely stand up straight when I walked. I was hoping my errands and walking would help, but no. I tried to sleep on my other side last night and today it is better. Cancer? or normal everyday pain? maybe I should go back to the chair yoga at the senior center.
I feel like I cough it a cold? cancer? Yes, this is how we think.
I am not really a big pumpkin fan but I want some pumpkin bread, I think I have all the ingredients here, I just took my last loaf of chocolate zucchini bread out of the freezer. I know I should flush all of my sugar down the toilet. (cancer loves it)
I've noticed a few light bruises lately.... I've NEVER bruised before unless I really got hit.What is that about?
Friday morning I am leaving for a Christian retreat: "Live, Laugh, Love". It's in Three Lakes, a couple of hours up north. We've gone before and always enjoy it. This is the first year I am not driving. (sad face) 
I guess I need to do some laundry and start packing.
Thanks for checking in with me................what's next?

Sunday, September 18, 2016

A Rebel

Once a rebel, always a rebel?
Whadda think about that?
I'm not mom might agree.
She always said I was a thoroughbred, didn't listen, had a mind of my own, etc.
I had to be: my dad passed before I was 2 and my mom was not totally with me (she doesn't remember that part of her life), I didn't really listen to my step dad and was a bit 'mouthy',  I stood up for myself because mom was on the quiet side. My first marriage wasn't ideal either. I made most decisions on my own too. When he had a nervous breakdown and was hospitalized, I, a very pregnant, young mom with a toddler was left on my parents were there for me but they both worked. I even found a different, cheaper apartment for $40 a month, can you believe that?? Can you see why I don't  really care to ask for help? Why I don't need to ask what I should wear? What should I do? What's the best answer? What are you ordering? I have a mind of my own and was taught 'where there's a will, there's a way'.
As one of 2  redheads in town I was teased, I was different, I stood out in a crowd. As a teen I got  a bit bolder in my choices, I didn't mind being different sometimes. I was always a quiet person and kept things to myself, but I can be outspoken and opinionated. I still keep feelings to myself at times.  I like my way of doing things. I usually follow  my superior's orders......   I was taught to respect  my boss, dr, teacher, etc. BUT......sometimes I don't follow orders very good. Sometimes I made my own rules: ie 'don't take pictures' (I've been reprimanded for that), speed limits (I drive 5mph over),
don't do this or that. I don't always agree. My dr said to stay out of the sun, which I did for the summer. BUT, now that the sun is lower and the days are cooling down I might sit in the sun for 1/2 hour...I love the sun. Shhh....don't tell my dr!  
 Right or wrong "I did it my way"

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Recent Cards

Looks simple.....maybe it is.

Really pretty

A Lot of hearts
                                  Look at this pretty box

Open it up
Looks what is inside
Lots of goodies
Stuff inside the envelope flaps

Everything is so adorable.
I bet this took a long time go make.
BEAUTIFUL sentiment on this card.

Thanks for the great cards Penny, Melissa, and Debbie!!!