Tired/On the Other Hand

I try to post several times a week and I don't know why; it's not like I have so much vital stuff to say or that I have have hundreds of followers waiting in anticipation of my words or that my paycheck depends upon it. (key word "stuff", it's just stuff). Sometimes I just get tired; mentally, physically, and emotionally. My mind has been a blank lately....I don't have anything new & exciting to write about....the only 'fun' I have is with my grand kids and not everyone loves them as much as I do and wants to read about them. I get tired of spending every Saturday night with grandson J and doing things with Jalen & Skylar...but if I don't I miss them. I like to do things with them that I know their parents won't do. I get tired of the feeling that their parents could gladly do without me and the fact that I can't just call to chat and see how the kids are.

On the other hand I love the feeling of joy I see on the boys faces when we do something fun. I miss my other grand kids whom don't live close enough to spend time with on a regular basis.

I get tired of having so many responsibilities at work and being the 'go to' person. I use to have time to get my personal work notes up to date and neatly typed and think about what I am doing. I am always working so quickly that I fear I will rush through and make mistakes. Conversely I am proud that I am given responsibility and know what is going on and how to handle various things. On the other hand I kinda like 'being in charge'.

I get tired of being the social secretary at home.........oh, how could I forget? ...we don't have a social life. Hubby has his golf/sports buddies and I have my friends. I miss having couple friends and doing things together. On the other hand hubby doesn't say anything when I do things with my friends, such as my upcoming Washington DC trip. But I sure would like to do some traveling (even a day trip) with him. He is just not that type of guy.....and I get tired of that.

For instance, some of his golfing buddies are coming up this weekend. Two of the guys are staying here...so guess who gets to clean??? Yup -me :-( On the other hand he did do a good job on the lawn for a change. But it sure would be nice if he'd help with some of the inside stuff. Our ice maker froze up and I had to haul all of the food downstairs to the basement freezer/fridge. I didn't even bother to mention it to him b/c all he'd say is "who do I look like? a refrigerator repair man?" I know what has to be done so I did it. In fact if anyone is going to do repairs/hang pictures etc around here, chances are it will be me. I wish someone offered hands on home repair classes....I'd LOVE that. I get tired of not having a man who does things around the house.

I get tired of people expecting me to remember their special days but they forget mine.

I get tired of people not saying 'Thank You'. On the other hand I am pleasantly surprised when I get a thank you card in the mail or a phone call.

I get tired of always being the one who has the notes/calender/schedule. I like to be organized and am a list maker. I don't like it when I am expected to be that person, on the other hand I am pleased when someone is appreciative that I do have the information.

I am just tired.........haven't slept good the past 2 nights....I made myself get up earlier than I wanted to because I have so much to do today....but I just spent 45 min on the phone with my SIL. And my knees hurt........not as bad as before but still a pain in the (knee) - sucks to get old. I'm off to get a haircut this morning, then to the library to return some overdue books (my fault and now I have to pay the fine), and then I get to clean. On the other hand I'm glad I have today off. Tomorrow I can sleep in BUT I promised my grandsons I'd pick them up and do something fun before their little brothers 1st birthday party.