Monday, August 15, 2011


Communication rates right up there, along with honesty, in the top 3 good relationship necessities (in my opinion).

I'm not well educated, I am not an eloquent speaker, nor do I have a powerful career....all I have is my life experiences and the DNA I was born with. But I have learned that talking to people is good for all kinds of things: making friends, getting a job, finding an apartment, locating an item you wish to purchase, maintaining a successful relationship, and so much more. Listening goes hand in hand with talking.

We communicate in so many non verbal ways too:
1) body language (leaving the room when a person walks in is only one example or sitting with a person-just to BE there), we all know the ways a person shows dislike of someone or something, and the way a warm welcome is given to someone we care about. I detest when a person rolls their eyes. Our actions speak loudly: ever hear the saying "Actions speak louder than words"? I think it is so true. A hug, touch on the arm or shoulder, reaching out for some one's hand can show much love/care. In like, pulling away from a hug or kiss speaks volumes too.
2) words- the most common way, how they are spoken often can mean more than the actual words. Tone of voice plays a great part in conveying meaning. Sarcasm is something I have used and am trying not to do so b/c I don't like it, but have learned it from hubby. Shouting often occurs with anger. The person wants control and feels that the louder they are the more control they have...doesn't work that way. People who know a lot more than me say a whisper is better used to get a hold on the situation. And don't forget the lack of words............silence is not always golden. Written words are a great way to say something if you are timid about saying it face to face or of you are not nearby. It isn't as popular as it once was but writing it down is good for your soul and for the other person's heart. I still try to send a card to my grandkids and a friend now and then. I need to do that more. It's so much nicer to hold something in your hand and read it over and over than to pull up an email.
3) tears - I know several people who communicate with tears. Young children can bring on the tears to attempt to get what they want (some adults may have the same mindset) or sometimes it's the only way they can get across just how they feel. Some people are just extremely emotional and the tears happen. There are lots of ways people cry too, some sob and others just let the tears fall quietly. Most of the time tears are why do 'fools' try to control by shouting at a person (child specifically) and saying "stop crying right now!"????? Every time I have seen/heard this tactic used it just makes the crying person cry harder, can you stop crying on demand???? Why don't men get it??? Fortunately I am learning, at my 'older' age that calm, quiet talk and listening works much better at calming tears. I only wish 'the twins' could come to that conclusion.

One thing I have learned from 2 marriages and seeing/having broken relationships is that we need to communicate; share dreams, fears, happy times, just simple things. Any good relationship is built from the bottom up with and it takes a lot of small things to make a big thing.

Share a smile with someone and they will pass it on............When I waitressed (many years ago) I learned that if I smiled at work when I was unhappy that smile soon became real!


  1. Very good and thought out well post. I agree!

  2. I meant well thought out....duh! Talk about communication!

  3. beautifully said. Point #2 really resonated with me. I have found in a classroom that if I simply stop speaking that often I will get students attention faster.