Monday, July 6, 2015

I Choose The Runt Of The Litter, The One No One Else Wants

When I was a little girl I was able to choose the kitten that I wanted and I picked the little white one. I remember my mother saying it might not be the best one...but that is the one I wanted and I took it home with me. It didn't live long (as mom had predicted) and I prayed for God to bring it back to life....that didn't happen. 
I made more DIFFERENT THAN OTHERS choices as I grew up.
I also preferred the nephew that the others thought was less loveable. I am not sure what happened to him.
When I married Kev he had 2 young children, a daughter 3 years older than his son. The daughter was the easy to love child, the boy...not quite as much. 
I thought he needed more love, more understanding. I tried, I loved him, I believed in him, and it was hard.... he liked to disagree and do what he wanted to do. He moved out and quit school the second he was 18.  He is now 30 and is no further ahead than he was at 18, except he has 3 boys now. 
When his girlfriend got pregnant 10 years ago I urged them to give the baby up for adoption. She already had a 1 year old son by another guy and I just could not see them changing their lifestyle just because of another baby. They didn't....and Jalen was born.
Her parents kept her oldest son every saturday and I was asked to watch the baby every saturday I did.
I/we fell in love with him.
He is a lot like his dad, wants HIS way. He's lazy and a couch potato. He is not at all like his older brother who likes to help at home and always be busy. He's like his grandpa too.....Kev is not lazy but he LOVES TV and does just the yard work that is necessary. 
Others often see Jalen as naughty, lazy, sassy, stubborn. He and his younger brother just do not get along.....Landon (almost 5) knows just how to push his buttons...and Jalen falls for it. Landon is constantly treated like and called the baby. I am trying to teach Jalen not to fall for the 'button pushing'.
I see Jalen as very loving, smart, and willing to do what I ask...but he will usually not jump when I say 'jump'......and being his grandmother and not a parent I can deal with it.  I ask him nicely and do something not demand that he do it. I have the luxury of being accommodating to him. 
He gets along with my friends and can have an intelligent conversation. His teachers all love him.
When he was a baby he spent a lot of time with us.
Needless to say, we bonded. 
After a bout with a  mild illness he wanted to sleep in my bed....he would put his tiny arm around my neck (as far as it would reach) and fall asleep. He still watches TV with me in my bed before he heads to his bed. We talk a lot about anything.....and I always tell him that if he wants to talk to me about anything he can....I won't tell a soul if he asks me not to. 
He tells me often that he loves me and we say it in sign language too. When I go to his concerts I'll tell him and he'll give me a nod or smile to let me know he gets it. 
Once in a while he'll call to see how I am.
Last summer when we hiking at some caves he wouldn't let me climb up, he wanted me to 'be safe'. This year we visited the same caves and he stayed back to walk with me. I'm not very fast. When I took 7 times as many blood pressure pills as I was supposed to take on friday night he urged me to call the doctor's office a 2nd and 3rd time (after they didn't return my call). Saturday night as we were leaving the fireworks (we took the 2 older boys) Kev gave me his arm so I get down from the bleachers easier and Jalen took my hand. He has done that before too.
When he comes over he greets me with a hug and always kisses me goodbye. 

A friend gave me this poem format and suggested I give it to my grands.
Ava did hers and I was very impressed with her humanistic and thoughtful answers. 
Jalen did his too but told me I couldn't read it until Ava came to visit in August, so he hid it. I did sneak a peek at it when he was in the bathroom and several times cancer was one of his concerns.
I am going to date the poems and put them in their scrapbooks.

You might want to use this with your children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, etc.


I am (two special characteristics you have)
I wonder (something you are actually curious about)
I hear (an imaginary sound)
I see (an imaginary sight)
I want (an actual desire)
I am (the first line of the poem repeated)

I pretend (something you actually pretend to do)
I feel (a feeling about something imaginary)
I touch (an imaginary touch)
I worry (something that really bothers you)
I cry (something that makes you very sad)
I am (the first line of the poem repeated)

I understand (something you know is true)
I say (something you believe in)
I dream (something you actually dream about)
I try (something you really make an effort about)
I hope (something you actually hope for)
I am (the first line of the poem repeated)


  1. I love this post. My daddy had a servant's heart. He was always for the underdog and downtrodden. I am too. If I don't know the teams playing, I am always for the losing team. I want to save this poem for my grandchildren. Thanks for sharing.

  2. What a sweet post! Jalen is a blessed little boy to have you in his life. Sounds like you two share a very special bond. I'm sure he rests easier knowing he has someone in his life he can talk to about anything. Hope you have a bright and beautiful week!

  3. Linda, I am glad that Jalen has you in his corner. Don't we all need a special person. Blessings to all,xoxo,Susie

  4. Beautiful post. So insightful on your part, so honest and real. Jalen is a special boy. Out of our 12 grandchildren, Jon and Elijah has a special place in my heart and I in theirs. Love that.

  5. You and I would be friends if we lived closer I think. We have had much the same lives and I think made a lot the same choices. You are definitely more gifted as a writer! I love reading your insites!

  6. He sounds like he can be a great kid! I am so glad that he has you to talk to. I am having a little bit of a problem reading your posts. The type is so small. My eyes just aren't that good. So it is really my problem.

  7. Jalen is blessed to have you in his life.