Thursday, July 3, 2014

I Just Can't Commit

I can't commit myself to the things I want to do, to the places I want to go.......
especially during the next year. I can't make any plans... I'm not sure what my life will be like in  the next several months. I have to take it day by day, week by week, month by month. 
This (unwanted) journey that I am on has me sucked me in like quicksand.
I just have to wait it out and play the game. 
Take some time off.
I had so many plans for this summer, my first summer of retirement.
I'm in good heath, the grandkids are young and want to do things with me, I have friends to travel with, to accompany me to events....but...
God steps in and says....not your plans but MY plan. 
I am trusting HIM and know I'll get though this and next year will be better.
(Our weather has been lousy anyway.....trying to console myself.)
Today, as with any day, if I feel good I try to get as much done as I want. 
One of my friends told me that the worst part is being so tired at the end. 
Usually, this week before my treatment I feel great, but I've had 3 chemos so far and it seems to be catching up with me. I get tired early in the evening/late afternoons, so I watch TV after supper. There's no harm in going to bed early, is there?
So what if my projects get pushed off for another year??? They've  been waiting years already.
Feeling tired, but good today......
Errands to run, things to do, strawberry shortcake to make.....



  1. Sorry you are going through this treatment, I will be praying for a full and speedy recovery. I was born with a disease that knocked me down many times. I have to lean on my friends and family to help me along. Please know that you are receiving positive thoughts and prayers from all over the world.

    1. Thank you for your kind words, prayers, and for following. I have been blessed with good health so it is difficult for me to understand a chronic disease. Glad you are surrounded by people that love you!

  2. Linda, yes it's okay to go to bed early. Yes it is hard, but next is is half way! So embrace! and remember it's not real when this is all over your energy well come back. Rest now so you can pay hard on the other end of this! :-)

    1. I took a nap in the afternoon and that seemed to help. Same to you!

  3. Linda, this is the time for you to take care of you. Don't feel guilty about going to bed early, taking naps when you need them, whatever you need to do to take care of it! Your body is fighting hard against this Cancer. When you feel stronger, maybe you can make a few cards or do another craft you enjoy. Instead of focusing on big projects, maybe you can just do one or two smaller ones so you feel like you've accomplished what you want to accomplish. This is the time to slow down a little and pamper yourself. You take care of others all the time, maybe this is God's way of allowing you a little "me" time. He has a wonderful, unique purpose for allowing this into your life and whatever the reason may be, only He knows. Perhaps it's to teach you to trust Him more. Perhaps it's to show you more of His mercy and any event, we know that all things (even the things we don't expect, even the things we don't want to go through) work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purposes. As you continue to go through your treatments, know that I am praying for you. May God strengthen your body and also your faith. Blessings, Bonnie

  4. Yes, God is in control and we do need to slow down and know he is God. God Bless you on your journey also.

  5. Dear Linda, I am adding you to my prayers. Keep up the positive attitude and keep turning to Him for comfort. God bless you and do have a Happy Fourth of July.
    Connie :)

    1. Thanks for stopping by Connie. I appreciate all the prayers I can get!