Do you ever get so disgusted with yourself that you just wanna throw up your arms and say "I quit", "I just don't care", "who cares?"? I feel that way every so often, which is one of the reasons I don't post. The other is that there's nothing happening that is worthy of sharing. I feel like I am just "letting myself go". I don't like to post depressing, whining stuff.
I'm so disgusted and sick of myself lately. As I am gathering photos for the upcoming scrap-booking retreat (which I am really looking forward to) I see how overweight I have become. I have a Dr. appointment next week and I know I've gained weight, I can feel it/see it in the way my clothes fit (or don't). I wear yoga pants at home....but don't know the first thing about yoga. My Dr. is going to talk to me (again) about exercise.....I know exactly what she is going to say, we've had this conversation before. I hate exercise, I'd rather dig ditches. I should at least walk.....I like walking (sorta).....I could download pod-casts of the radio programs I listen to....or I could find a friend to walk with. But it's too cold now, really it is. Nine degrees is the predicted high for today. I was a skinny kid and a picky eater............why, oh why, did that change??? I like food and eat nearly anything, but I eat too much of it. I like to bake and eat that too. :-(
And I am worried about diabetes....but I am still eating WAY too much sugar and not exercising. All this week after dinner and the dishes are done I'd just grab my laptop and plop my butt in front of the TV. That's not usually me; I'm either making a mess or trying to clean one of my messes up. I taking a supplement that is suppose to help with pre-diabetes...but pills aren't the total answer.
I need a new hairstyle. My hair is short so there aren't many choices. I was blog surfing the other day and saw the new haircut one woman had and I LOVED it....but what blog was is? I need that photo! My hair looks like crap lately and I need something that's easy and works with my naturally wavy hair.
I do want people to like me and I don't think I am an unlikable person, but yet a couple of people (that I know of) don't care for me at all. Well, I don't like them either, but I have seriously tried to be nice and welcome them. I admit I am a loner and it's a good thing! But I do need friends too. Sad to say hubby is not my friend, not my soul mate. He's very quiet at home and sits upstairs in front of his computer or TV all day and doesn't share anything personal. He's quite friendly when he's away from home.............. That's just how he is and I don't understand one bit! The only time he tells me he loves me is when he travels for work...now you know why I like it when he's away. *smile*
Sometimes it gets depressing when you feel like you don't really matter to anyone, except your mother. No, I am not clinically depressed, just a little down today. This, too, shall pass. I have some fun things coming up and will post about them later.