Sunday, February 17, 2013


This is a tribute to Dolly. Dolly is my mother's nick name. She doesn't like being in the limelight or having a big 'to do' made over her, she doesn't want an obituary printed or a funeral when she passes. But I am her first-born and she often called me her thoroughbred.  (from Wikipedia: "Thoroughbreds ..... known for their agility, speed and spirit.") I believe she was referring to my spirited 'I'll do what I want and do it my way' attitude, or maybe my quick tongue (when I was a teen). She loved horses and any other animals so that term makes sense. Well, mom....I'm doin' what I want my way today....that's my M.O.

My mother passed away early Tuesday  morning after a hasty battle with pneumonia,  dehydration, and acute renal failure. The previous Tuesday my sister took her to the DR because she hadn't been feeling well. In-spite of the fact that she did have 2 pneumonia vaccinations she had pneumonia and was given meds. The next day my sister checked on her and she seemed better. Wednesday night she had fallen twice and was found by an aide on the floor next to her sink.  The van for the assisted living residence that she lived at took her to the Dr and my sister met her there. Sandy lives 8 miles away and I am 78 miles away so she does all the running with mom. 

Things just went downhill from there. Mom was rushed to the hospital via ambulance; she needed an IV and they had a hard time finding a vein. Friday morning when I was getting ready to drive to the hospital I received a call from my sister stating that mom's BP was 85/37. You can imagine where my thoughts went....I immediately called my hubby at work and he said he'd be home to go with me. As I waited for him I made calls to my children. When we got there she had several visitors already. Most of the time she was sleeping, but once in a while she'd try to was so hard to understand her. I did catch a few words though. It was so hard to sit there and watch her jerking body motions. The DR said her kidneys had shut down.

When I walked into her hospital room I asked "What's with the Holly & Molly?" Actually I thought it said holey moley. (on the whiteboard). Those were the names of  her nurses for the day. It was Holly, Molly, & Dolly........we all had to smile. Someone asked how Dolly came from her name Adeline. I wasn't quite sure but my daughter, Amy, told us the story. It's nice that the young have good memories! Mom told Amy that she was such a tiny baby that she fit in a shoe-box, just like a dolly, hence she was her papa's little Dolly. 

We stayed all day and after some soul searching and talking with the nurse I decided it was OK to go home. Mom would NOT want us to sit there 24/7 and put our lives on hold. I was hungry so we stopped at Perkins on our way out of town. Before we even ordered my sister called and said that the DR took mom off the IV and antibiotic. Just as the waitress came to take our order we put the menus down and went back to the hospital. We ran up to see mom and I told Kevin that I was spending the night, he went home and told me to call the next day. I was able to grab some food from the cafe just before it closed. My sister and her boyfriend came back from their homes. Jack had to work in the morning and Sandy was tired because she had been up much earlier in the day so they went home for the 2nd time that day. 

I have never spent all night in a hospital (unless I was the one in the bed)....not fun. It's too light, noisy, and the recliner is not comfortable. I dozed for maybe 2 hours but I am so glad that I was able to be with my mother. My sister was up early saturday morning and my daughter came up later that morning. The 3 of us had such a nice visit reminiscing about mom. I wondered if the nurses thought that we had lost our minds as we laughed in the room with our dying mother. I know mom loved the good visit we had. Sandy left, Amy had to go home, Kevin came to pick me up so I said good bye and went home too. As I leaned over and kissed her I told her to give my dad, baby sister, and Sandy's dad a hug when she gets to heaven. Mom lifted her head off the pillow and tried to talk to me. She did that twice! All day she was laying in bed, sleeping quietly, not moving at all. I KNOW she heard me and was telling me she loved me too. She always said how much she loved me, especially as she got older. It makes me cry every time I tell this. 

Monday morning Sandy got an early call from the hospital and we rushed up there again. We sat with her most of the day; just holding her hands and wondering if 'that' was her last breath. A wonderful  chaplain came in and talked to us. He said a prayer (I so needed that) and we told her again that it was ok to go. No one knew how long it would go on so we said our goodbyes and went home. Sandy called me at 5AM the next day and said she was gone. So much happened in such a short time. Tell those that you love that you do love them!

Hubby drove me to the hospital every day and sat with us.

We had a small family memorial for her on Friday. My sister and I made up photo boards, we shared stories about her, and ate pizza.  My 4 year old granddaughter,  who didn't know her, came up to me and sweetly told me that she was sorry about my mom. My daughter, the oldest grandchild, wrote a BEAUTIFUL memoir about her grandma....and if it doesn't make you cry you're not human. It Even made my 7 year old grandson cry, he loved her. He often came with me to visit her.

I could go on and on about the kind of person my mother was but this post is long enough. I am sure she'll pop up again in future posts.

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