Sunday, May 13, 2012

Am I Asking For Too Much?

Just as we were leaving the nursing home God sent my 2 old friends (former neighbors) into the parking lot.

 I hope all of you moms and step moms had a great day , with someone you care about; whether your mom, child, sibling, friend, spouse............just someone near and dear to you. Hubby, I, and grandson J went to visit my mother in the nursing home that is her temporary place of residence. Since her health emergency (hallucinations, confusion due to UTI or low blood sugar) about 2 weeks ago I am reminded that she's not invincible and won't be with us forever. Hubby was planning to stay home and do yard work, but for some reason, decided to go along with me. I dislike our anniversary and Mother's Day b/c he totally ignores those days. No, I'm not his mother, but I did mother his children from his first marriage. But I know enough not to expect any thing or words from him. I didn't even want to go to church today because I know the pastor would ask us to stand up and I feel like I've been a failure as a mother and don't deserve recognition.

I know there are lots of holidays that people just can't wait to get past. We all have our reasons.....Sometimes we have high expectations that just can't be met. Or is it possible?

He is a very quiet, non demonstrative man, even more so now that his twin is separated from his wife (who is my good friend). They were the couple that we did things his brother hates me. Most of our car ride was spent in silence or with me conversing with our 7 year old grandson. As we drove past some homes I'd see people sitting around outside visiting in their yards....that would really make me happy to have my family and friends sitting in a circle in the backyard with a cold drink talking and laughing as the kids play. I'd love to sit outside around the fire telling stories and making s'mores. I'd love to be able to bounce ideas off my hubby, to talk about our day, to be free to talk to him about any and everything. Is that asking too much? I'm envious of those who have husbands who enjoy spending time with them, is it asking too much to have that too? Is it asking to much to want to have someone with whom I can have fun and be spontaneous with?
Here we are MANY years ago.

We had a nice visit with my mom, hubby is really nice to her. The weather was in the 70's so J and I wanted to stop in a park and play for a bit, but hubby said no. Hubby stopped to put gas in the car and get snacks for the ride home (great since we didn't have any lunch). And guess what? I got a free carnation for Mothers Day! That was nice and made me smile.  When J's dad came to pick him up he gave me a nice card with very touching sentiment had written inside and a good hug. You know, it IS nice to be appreciated sometimes.

So, Remember this............Stop and say 'Thank you' to someone today. Don't be afraid to tell a mom (or dad) how well behaved her (or his) children are.......send someone a thinking of you card.....send a personal email, not a joke..........stop and listen to the person you're talking to........

I know we are all busy. Life is short, show your appreciation to those you love.

Yes, I'm crying as I write this, partly because of my day and partly because I am watching the last episode of Desperate Housewives. I will miss that TV program!!!

1 comment:

  1. I'm glad that you got to see your mother and that your husband came along, though I know it has to be very trying to have him not talk very much. What would happen if you slipped him a written note?