I Hate Cancer!

I hate it here, I hate it there, I hate it EVERYWHERE!

I HATE CANCER!

Up, until 2 years ago, I hadn't had any experience with it. Then I got breast cancer....no big deal....I'll beat it...and I did. Yes, I had many complications, but I pulled through. 

My sister has several friends with serious cancer issues (that was stupid - when is it not serious???).

When it has metastasized and comes around again it is not the same as the first time.

Where does it come from? I've read lots of articles on what causes cancer........yes, some of the stuff I am guilty of and some not. I don't see a family history of cancer, altho we do not live long, illustrious lives.

I'm almost to the point right not that I feel like saying: "I have cancer, why give a crap about my low sodium diet? who cares if sugar feeds cancer cells....I want some pickles, some sweets." I have been eating ice cream and sherbet....NO chocolate, and it is readily available. Hard to believe, huh?

My life of late: 

Dr appt

blood work

tests

drink

pee

sleep

try to eat

I am still so very tired. I am still not in fight mode. 

Monday night I was hospitalized so I could get 4 units of plasma so I'd be ready for  Thoracentesis the following day. (removal of fluid around the lungs) It wasn't as bad as I expected. One night was enough though. Before I was released my oncologist came in and Kev was able to ask him some pointed questions and he was pleased with the way he answered.....of course we would have preferred different answers...but. Tomorrow I am having a chest x-ray to determine if we need to remove fluid again before the weekend. It made a big difference in my breathing.

My bff is being very good and driving me to dr appointments, but it is extremely hard on her. She has enough of her own health problems. 

Monday Kevin and I are going for a 2nd opinion at the Carbone Cancer center UW Madison.

I am NOT looking forward to chemo again, and I have to be careful b/c of what it did to my heart the first time. I don't know if I will feel much worse on the chemo....I feel like crap now anyway.

The good news is the nurse called to tell me my pap was good. hahaha

Do you think I was even thinking of that?

The better news is that my daughter is coming with her children on Saturday to visit...she's bringing me pickles and ginger candy :-)

I'm tired so am going to call it quits for the day.

Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. I need them!