Thursday, February 25, 2016

I Hate Cancer!

I hate it here, I hate it there, I hate it EVERYWHERE!
Up, until 2 years ago, I hadn't had any experience with it. Then I got breast big deal....I'll beat it...and I did. Yes, I had many complications, but I pulled through. 
My sister has several friends with serious cancer issues (that was stupid - when is it not serious???).
When it has metastasized and comes around again it is not the same as the first time.
Where does it come from? I've read lots of articles on what causes cancer........yes, some of the stuff I am guilty of and some not. I don't see a family history of cancer, altho we do not live long, illustrious lives.
I'm almost to the point right not that I feel like saying: "I have cancer, why give a crap about my low sodium diet? who cares if sugar feeds cancer cells....I want some pickles, some sweets." I have been eating ice cream and sherbet....NO chocolate, and it is readily available. Hard to believe, huh?
My life of late: 
Dr appt
blood work
try to eat

I am still so very tired. I am still not in fight mode. 

Monday night I was hospitalized so I could get 4 units of plasma so I'd be ready for  Thoracentesis the following day. (removal of fluid around the lungs) It wasn't as bad as I expected. One night was enough though. Before I was released my oncologist came in and Kev was able to ask him some pointed questions and he was pleased with the way he answered.....of course we would have preferred different answers...but. Tomorrow I am having a chest x-ray to determine if we need to remove fluid again before the weekend. It made a big difference in my breathing.
My bff is being very good and driving me to dr appointments, but it is extremely hard on her. She has enough of her own health problems. 
Monday Kevin and I are going for a 2nd opinion at the Carbone Cancer center UW Madison.
I am NOT looking forward to chemo again, and I have to be careful b/c of what it did to my heart the first time. I don't know if I will feel much worse on the chemo....I feel like crap now anyway.
The good news is the nurse called to tell me my pap was good. hahaha
Do you think I was even thinking of that?
The better news is that my daughter is coming with her children on Saturday to visit...she's bringing me pickles and ginger candy :-)
I'm tired so am going to call it quits for the day.
Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. I need them!


  1. Linda, I haven't quit praying and I won't. Don't be down, it is hard but then again, if it wasn't it would not be called cancer, would it?

  2. I have been thinking about you and keeping you in my prayers. April 1st will be my 3 year point from my having had breast cancer. I guess I will always wonder and worry that it could come back. Try and stay positive, and enjoy your visit with your daughter and grandchildren.

  3. Oh Linda, I am so sorry I am just now finding out your cancer is back. I can't tell you how sad this makes me. You are an amazingly strong woman. Keep the faith and we will all be praying for you. Hugs and prayers to you my friend.

    Blessings, Vicky

  4. Hi Linda!
    I was sent your way from Garage Sale Gal's blog. I have been reading your blog and power praying for you.
    Love & Peace

  5. Prayers for you Linda, eat your pickles, watch the sun rise, and bask in its Glory. Hug tighter, and know that you are a miracle, believe in yourself, live every moment to its fullest. Sending you positive energy.

  6. I am so thankful you are saying exactly what you feel. Doing that allows you to process everything you're going through. No one can understand your journey except you but please know you do have people who love and support you. You also have many people who are lifting you in prayer daily.

  7. Enjoy your visit with Amy and the grands. Hugs and prayers!

  8. Linda, You have the right to scream this . I am almost at a loss as to what to say. I hurt for you and your loved ones. I am mad. I wish there was something I could do that could help, besides crying and praying. I will pray for you and your family also. May God be with you, xoxo,Susie

  9. You are on my heart and in my mind.
    I'm praying.
    Yes, I hate cancer!!
    Stomp! Scream! Throw things!
    Anything that helps, even if it's just for a moment - Do it!

  10. pickles, ginger candy and grandbabies...what could be better! Hope you have a chance to enjoy the weekend with your daughter. You are in my prayers...take care. ;j

  11. Dear Linda, I am praying for you every day! I pray that God will give you the strength to tackle this Cancer and Beat it again! Sending HUGS and PRAYERS your way!

  12. I am so glad that Amy and the family are coming today! I hope I can pick up a tiny plate of Mexican food for you!

  13. Linda,
    I do not personally know you but I say a prayer for you each day. I know that cancer is such a battle, but I also am well aware that you can beat it with some work. God will give you the strength that you need if we continue to ask.

  14. We all prayed you through the first bout and we can pray you through this one!!! You are STRONG!!! You can DO it and we will all do our part in prayer!!!

  15. sending you prayers, love, and hugs.

  16. I'm so mad at myself for not keeping up with you. Don't bother to respond to my posts. I just want you to know that "The Chocolate Lady" will continue to be in my prayers often!