Is it a special day for you? How do you celebrate?
We don't do anything, guess I am used to it.
We are going to dinner tomorrow....well, it's a 50th anniversary party for a good friend of mine....does that count? It will be nice to help Carolee and Jon celebrate their special day.
Today I had 2 doctor appointments and one with occupational therapy. I have some exercises to do to loosen up any tightness in the underarm area. I'm doing pretty good but wasn't sure how much to force my arm, now I know what to do. I'll make an appointment to see the therapist here and see if I need more. I saw the surgeon and she said everything is healing fine and to see her in 6 months. It felt good to hear that!
I also saw one of my cardiologists today, I feel good and my blood work is good so there isn't much he could say until he sees another ECHO. I am seeing him an a month and getting an ECHO. I'm sure I'll be nervous to get the results from that.
Next month I have an appointment with my other cardiologist and will decide what we are going to do regarding my life-vest defibrillator, well...., I mean..... what's the plan for my heart???
The past week I have been feeling like I don't deserve to call myself a breast cancer survivor, after all I still have my breasts, my incision is only a few inches long. (I am not sure, did not look at it that closely.) There are so many women who have gone through so much more than I have. Then I remember the chemo (how did I do that? one day I was there all day.) Next week I start radiation...not looking forward to that either....but I am told it's a piece of cake compared to chemo.
I have been feeling really good and doing the things that I want to this week. I found some bargains at the thrift store, ran everyday errands, went to lunch at school with 2 of my grandsons, went to the band concert for one of them....and just normal household duties. I almost feel guilty that I feel so good...but then I look down and see the battery pack hanging around my waist and think 'a normal person doesn't walk around wearing a life-vest defibrillator '.
Yes, I am through with part of my breast cancer journey but it's far from over, my oncologist wants to put me on some kind of drug, I forgot the name. I looked up some of the most popular ones and they all have very undesirable side effects. Originally I was to be on herceptin for a year, but that is what caused my CHF so that is out of the question.
Why can't I just stay like I am? I feel like a normal person.
Why do I need more poison in my body?
If I were 20 years older I'd just take my chances without the drugs.