Friday, October 31, 2014

Thoughts That Bounce Around In My Head In The Wee Hours Of The Morning

Since I have a really weird sleep pattern lately I'm awake from about 1:30 AM - 4, 5, or 6 and lots of thoughts run rampantly through my mind.

1. You  might be trying to kill me, but we're onto you and are one step ahead. Last Thursday I saw the cardiologist and he gave me a water pill and another diuretic. They didn't seem to be working so I called on Monday and they finally got back to me after 5. By that time I noticed some numbness on the top of my right foot. Tuesday morning I went in for an ultrasound of the veins in my legs. The technician found blood clots in my left leg. I was sent home with warfarin and enoxaparin (an injection in the stomach). Give myself a shot???? I don't think so! Fortunately I have a friend who is a retired nurse who comes over every day to do it for me. Thank you Carla!!!

2. I've had to let people do things for me this past week, I just could not do it myself. I even left my SIL take our laundry home and do it. She also made a big dish of chicken dumpling soup, it looks soooo good........but it's low sodium. No offence Kitty, but low sodium sucks, I guess it is something I will have to get use to. 

3. Yesterday I went back to the cardiologist and remembered to ask him some questions. He said my heart is improving and after reviewing my blood work he adjusted my meds. My weight was down the past 2 days but is up again today. I weigh myself every day (checking for water loss).

4. Will these blood clots be the last road block before my surgery? Things were going so well......then.... Is my tumor growing again? What is going to happen when I go  back on the Herceptin?

5. I can't wait until I can walk up the stairs again with out falling down on the bed immediately. I am so tired of being tired. I guess it will come...............I can't wait until I can sleep at night and stay awake during the day. What's wrong with me that I am not smiling like the women I see on facebook??? Why am I just a lazy, sad, tired old lady?

Guess I'll just lay around now and watch some TV.


  1. "WHY" are you lazy,sad, & tired old lady? Jeez Linda, your body is fighting for you to stay alive. Of course it is going to make you tired,sad, and lazy. ((Hugs))

  2. Linda, you amaze me. With all you've been through, you still continue to fight! Don't worry about not always feeling good or being smiley...each of our journeys are different. Some days are good and others are bad and it seems that we often have more of the bad days than the good ones. The point I'm trying to make is this...even when you feel horrible, don't give up...keep on fighting...keep on believing. There will be better days ahead. Hang on to the little verse in the Bible that says "this too shall pass." You are entitled to rest when you need to rest and to ask for help when you need help. Don't be too prideful to let others bless you :) hang in there my sweet pink sister! It's going to be better soon. love and prayers to you, Bonnie

  3. My husband doesn't like it when I say, "It is what it is." But I know that I mean could be better/could be worse...and that's a good way to look at life. Realistic, but positive. That's what I'm wishing for you.

    I know time is moving slowly now while your brain is whirling at hyperspeed wishing for a successful surgery, over and done. Hang in there; I know it will all be worth it!