Friday, December 5, 2014

Their Diabolical Plan......

.......but is it the same one my body has in mind?
Have my doctors been paying attention to me? It seems like I have gotten every UNUSUAL chemo side effect. Dear Lord, when you made me did you take the parts from the seconds/extra pile????
My oncologist had the bright idea to remove my tumor with only a local anesthetic, maxidation - similar to what you get for a colonoscopy. And he even got my surgeon to agree to it. It does scare me. I am 'only' having a lumpectomy, but still.......... Even my cardiologist seems to think it might work. I will see him next week and discuss it with him. Oh dear, what did I get myself into when I agreed to take on breast cancer????? one ever asked me :-(
Wednesday I had a lot of errands to run and was gone for most of the day. I did feel kinda 'foggy' and weird and just tickled a car in a parking lot (should never have told Kev). Shopko was my last stop and I walked around quite a bit, very slowly, I was quite tired by the time I got home. 
Thursday I had a bad cramp in my leg so I called the nurse and she said to take an extra potassium pill. I figured that was it but it's best to talk to the experts. I also noticed more numbness on my right foot/leg and that when sitting on a kitchen chair, with my feet flat on the floor, I can not lift my right toes off the floor.....scary. I finally got a hold of my regular dr (per the cardiology nurse) and they wanted me in that afternoon (it was already 3:30pm) or to go to ER. REALLY??? Kev took me to the dr and they ruled out a stroke but said I have drop foot......which my oncologist says happens with chemo patients. Not again....... So now Kev won't let me drive :-(
Today I have to go in for an MRI on my head and lumbar spine....oh joy, I hate those darn things....but at least this time I won't have to hold my breath (like I did when they did my heart last month-that was hard for me).
Just when I thought I understood the plan it changed on me....again. 
I have to get in the shower and get dressed b/c I haven't any idea of when I need to get my MRI. Thanks Carla for the ride....
and all my other friends for chauffeuring me around.


  1. I am a friend of NanaDana and I have been following you - I haven't left a comment I don't think, but I am praying for you. I had breast cancer this year and had a double mastectomy in June. I will be praying and thinking of you I know it is scary and you don't feel you have any control.

  2. Linda, It's awful the things you are going through...But God will make you strong, He is holding your hand. When my daughter was just getting ready to get her chemo, my granddaughter , Emma, said, "My poor mommy, she is the unluckiest person ever." I asked her why she would say that and she said , "cause first she got cancer and now she has chemo. " It broke my heart. I said , Oh honey cancer is the disease and chemo is the medicine, then I explained that the meds can make mommy sick too. But it was working. I am sending you special hugs Linda. May God bless you with good health at the end of these treatments. xoxo, Susie

  3. Sounds like you have a good team of doctors who are fine tuning your treatment, especially for you. How frightened you must be. Praying for you sweet Friend. Your good attitude is a big plus as you move forward. ((HUGS))

  4. I think the surgery with the maxidation is a good idea. Then, you could at least get the breast cancer behind you! The oncologist should give you a list of every possible side effect from the chemo. You can start checking them off as you get them, and be mentally prepared for the next detour!

  5. You amaze me with your positive attitude and I love you for it! Yup, I had that self chat and feeling better. The sun is shining and there is plenty of time! See my email.

  6. I agree with Debbie. Always keep thinking positive too.

  7. Crazy me, Linda, you are already one of my followers. What was I thinking? Yesterday and last night while I couldn't sleep I had you on my mind and said a prayer for you. I asked the Lord to put you on my mind when you were troubled. He has been faithful. That reminds me of his love for you. You may have doubts of that from time to time with all that you are going through. I can't imagine the roller coaster that you have been on. Prayers for you will walk with you through this journey.

  8. Linda, when I had both my lumpectomy (2) they did that not all the way because they didn't want intubation(? ) I don't remember a thing! Weird! I remember the operating room then recovery boom! No worries! I am so very sorry that you have been through so much...I truly believe we are given these challenges for a reason, you just have to puzzle out what the reason is๐Ÿ˜Š take care!