Happy Birthday to Me

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This is what I came home to after work.....and a nice big hug. He does love me!!!!

I didn't sleep good last night, 

worked all day today,

am so dam tired.

Going to bed before 8 and hope I can sleep.

Work tomorrow morning, 

then to my bff's mom's funeral

and maybe to clinic to get an IV to get hydrated.

Leaving late Friday morning for a stamping convention up north with friends.....YIPPEE!

Got The First One Under My Belt

Sometimes I am so dumb.....I made my first chemo appointment for 9AM and I had to be there at 8:30 for lab. Why didn't I make it for later in the day so I could enjoy at least part of the it????

My next treatment times are at 11AM.

Hubby accompanied me, but he stayed in the waiting room, much to my relief. He did come in to check on me though.

The scariest part for me was accessing the port....do you wanna get poked in your boob? I didn't. I've been poked in my hand and arm, but not there. So I cried.... I am not a crybaby. My mascara ran and it burned my eyes but I couldn't wipe them because I didn't want to bump the nurse and I had to hold my shirt out of the way. I finally was able to wipe all of my mascara off and I was fine.

I had a nice surprise visit from my Pastor, the poor guy probably found out more about me than he wanted to know. 

The nurses are sooo nice. I was waited on hand and foot. I got warm blankets, juice, snacks, and home made cookies! I was finished a little sooner than anticipated. 

I was tired and tried to sleep in the afternoon but it wasn't meant to be. 

At 6PM I and my bff attended a Look Good....Feel Better program at a local hospital.  I was starting to feel nauseous, but it was the only time I could attend it. It was actually a kinda fun night for us. Deb needed a diversion and I needed to learn stuff. It was wonderful, I got tons of makeup and learned how to use it. We tried on hats and wigs.....I found one that MIGHT work but will order on also. I would have liked to have stayed longer but I was not feeling well, so we left. 

It was a long day.

Today I went into work late, I needed some sleep. Work went fine, even tho I kept yawning...my eyes are tired but I can't sleep so I am trying to get a little done. 

Before I left my daughters on Sunday she gave me a little something to go along with the chocolate cake I was taking home (for my birthday). She brought me a box of tea.....for the box mainly. It's cute. No, she didn't give me the Keurig....but the tea box needed a prop. 

One day my bff gave me this cute little friendship angel, she sits on my windowsill and watches me when I wash dishes...as I do often. 

I've also received gifts of chocolate..............I don't even want any right now....it will keep! (if I hide it) and cards too. :-)

As for my chemo, I have 3 more treatments of this type to go and then 12 weeks of another....sigh.....but it will pass.

Thanks again everyone for your kindness!!!!

Dancing Darlings

 Well I have a bunch of new followers.....but this is certainly a heck of a way to boost my blog traffic.

Thank you Diana for your post and THANK all of you who commented. I do really appreciate connecting with you!!!!!

Right now I am sitting at the clinic with toxic drugs flowing into my body (isn't technology great?).  Like one kind soul told me "It's just medicine and will be over in a couple of months". I really like that and will be repeating it. 

I have to apologize to Cole and Ava just in case they read my blog before mom had a chance to talk to them. We both feel it unnecessary to worry the kids. But Amy is going to talk to them and explain things. I won't be able to hide it forever. Love you kids and  I WILL BE OK AND SURVIVE FOR MANY YEARS!!!
Diana, thanks for sending so many loving friends with prayers my way, I appreciate the info from 'the port will come out', to 'I'm a survivor', to the many prayers. 

Sunday I went to watch 2 of my granddaughters dance recital.

This is my daughter and her family.

Me and 'my girls'

When did Amy get taller than me?

We always go out to eat after the recital.

Ava ordered peanut butter & jelly pizza, I had never heard of it so had to have a pic for my blog. 

Bev, Thank you for dinner! The chocolate cake was delicious....and I did not share it. :-)

 Yes, the girl in the background is wearing her bathrobe. She wanted to leave her dance costume on and it was too cold with out the robe. Mom has enough confidence to let the children dress themselves and not worry about what other people will think. 

That was my Sunday, a long, fun day!!!!!

Feels Like Christmas

I had a nice long post almost ready to go...and poof it was gone, so you're going to get the short version.

I worked 1/2 day today and received:

* a gift certificate for Easter

*bouquet of flower for Administrative Assistant's day

*gift certificate for the above reason

*larger than usual paycheck (extra hours)

We've been home 2 days and I had 3 appointments.

Yesterday I had a port inserted and also a clip in my lymph node. It went very well.

Before the surgery Nan, one of my nurses, came in bearing gifts. She and Julie gave me a big, hand made blanket. When I cover up with it I am suppose to think of it as a hug from the doctor and his 2 nurses. Nan also made a small, 1/2 moon shaped pillow for use with the seat belt or tender area (after surgery). They surprised me!

Monday is my first chemo treatment and hubby is coming along with me. He's been to all of my appointments by his choice and even gave me a hug when I told him that I'm going to need a hug now and then. Tuesday I get an injection. Chemo is scheduled for every 3 weeks. I hope that goes as well as everything else has so far. It's scary, but if other women can do it, so can I!!!

Also my bff is struggling right now with the seriousness of her mother's illness. It appears that Loretta won't make it much longer. If you're a praying person please pray that Loretta is pain free and for peace for Deb and her family. Even though they know life has to come to an end it is still very difficult for them.

Thoughts On Thursday

*tired

*nervous

*starting to get overwhelmed

*feeling lonely

I just had to buy this new, tags on, t-shirt when I saw it at the thrift store.

We had a nice time in Reno. 

I barely gambled and did make some money, not as much as Michelle did tho...she made about $1000...of course she spent  more time on the machines than I did.

One night we saw a magic show with some beautiful wild cats, it was pretty good.

The following night we went to a comedy show. I didn't care for most of it, call me a prude but saying F* and talking about body parts isn't funny to me. The main act did make me laugh about 3 times.  The Christian comedy team I've seen several times really makes me laugh.

The night before we left I was ready about chemo treatments and how sick the gals were....well, that makes me scared and I broke down and was crying softly (that's me). The only reason Kevin knew I was crying was because I had to get up and get a tissue. He asks me 'What's wrong?' dumb question is what I am thinking so I just say 'Don't you know what's wrong?' I go back to bed and stay on my side and he stays on his side....making me feel even worse. All I want is to be held....and he's so stupid that he doesn't know that!!!!! Unfortunately, I feel this is about ME right now and I was hurting.

I slept very badly that night, the first time since my diagnosis. I had to be up shortly after 6 so we'd be ready to leave for the airport. I was tired (and I am very weak then) so I was crying again as we waited for the limo.....still no hugs or even a touch from Kevin. I finally got over it and was 'normal' again, we made it home ok shortly before 9PM.

I got up today before 6 so I could eat something this morning. After 6, until 8, I can only have clear liquids.

I have a 9AM appt with the oncologist....to find out my chemo schedule and meds....scary....

I have to be at the surgery center at noon to have the port inserted....more scary.......

On the bright side I'll be able to sleep all afternoon, and I'm still tired.

I'm not scared of the surgery or the outcome of the treatments...just the process of it. Some women get so sick and some work through it. I have to order a wig....never done that. I'm a natural red head, my hair has always been noticeable....how can I be without it???

Thanks for letting me vent!

Easter Greetings

It's been in the high 70's here so I spend most of the late morning & afternoon here.

 I'm not complaining, one bit!!

The other wives/girlfriends went along to the bowling alley this afternoon to watch the guys bowl. I did not go.....Kevin said he wouldn't want to sit and watch someone bowl for 3 hours so he didn't mind if I stayed here alone. 

 I am trying not to get burned so after about 3-4 hours I come in. I don't gamble so sometimes I'm just relaxing in the room. Yesterday I napped, today I watched TV

We had a big breakfast today- I had Belgian waffles with strawberries and a side of bacon (6 Pieces, wow!),  therefore my lunch today was gelato (chocolate, of course) and Gardettos. Soon it will be time for a shower and to get ready for dinner, we're going out for steaks, again.

Last night our dinner (for 10) was 'comped' by one of the guys in our party.

They say 'What happens in Reno stays in Reno.'

The weather for the rest of our stay isn't going to be quite so nice. I hope I can get out to the pool tomorrow!!

Relaxation

This 'vacation' couldn't have come at a better time!

I need a break from some of my stress.

This is one of the pools in the courtyard at the Peppermill in Reno, NV where we are staying. It is GORGEOUS!!!Tomorrow is suppose to be sunny and 75, so while the guys are golfing Michelle and I will be sitting at the pool.

I was up at 2:45 AM today so we could get to the airport in time......hubby missed his turn and thanks to Onstar we arrived in time.
We had a short layover in Las Vegas and while we were there the power was out for about 15 minutes. I've never experienced that before. If it had been out longer it could have been disastrous for many people. Thankfully it was only a minor irritation.
I don't remember what time we landed in Reno, my internal clock does not agree with what the hotel room clock says. I am beat! I do remember that it was 70 and sunny and we were all loving it!
We did some gambling (Kevin and I both played slots and I walked away $60 ahead) and had a couple of drinks. Oh, I think I forgot to mention that Kevin is here for the Men's National Bowling tournament. Today 8 of us flew in, that includes 3 wives/girlfriends.
For dinner we walked across the street and had steaks at Ruby River. They were awesome!

Oh, I feel bad for being so selfish, I almost forgot today is Good Friday. It's a solemn day for Christians and sometimes it's hard to think of it as a good day.
I doesn't seem like Easter because we aren't at home and I won't attend church.
I hope you have a happy and blessed Easter!!!!

Just A Little News

Thanks everyone for your heartwarming comments. I intended to email each of you, but I just haven't found the time. I'm working, on the phone, trying to pack, etc. I'm spoiled and use to having days off, since Cindy quit (work) I am working extra days to help out.

Remember you can sign up with email and you'll get an email whenever I post. Then you don't have to remember to check this site. See the box on the right.

I'm doing great and not worrying yet. This morning was the first morning worries woke me up, but I was thinking about my step son's separation and work. That's what I see right now, the cancer seems invisible to me at this time.

The good news is that I gave myself a pedicure last night and have most of my packing done. I called the insurance company and found out that acupuncture is not covered by insurance but massage therapy is. I am definitely going to take advantage of that!!! Thank God for insurance.

I am working today, on my day off. Tomorrow we are leaving early for Reno. I hope I get to sleep in at least one day......I want a lazy day. The day after we get home I have an appointment with the oncologist in the morning, then at noon I have to be at a different hospital for the port insertion. Will I go to work on the day after that????

I am reading 2 books about breast cancer, one suggests to keep a journal. Well, by golly by George, I thought of that idea all by myself. Not too long ago I picked up a pretty, flowered book that I had to have, I didn't know what for, but when I was diagnosed I knew! I have been keeping my notes, conversations, and feelings in it.

Gotta go........my job is calling.

My Journey Begins

I'm going to share this journey with you in hopes that I can connect with other women on the same journey. I hope to share the ups and downs and learn what I can from other you.

Last week I had my annual physical and mammogram. I don't normally look forward to it, but I do it. I figure if I don't take care of myself who else will? The Dr tells me I need to exercise and I say I will, but am not very good at it. About 2 weeks prior to my appointment I noticed a lump on my breast. I didn't think anything of it because I knew my Dr appointment was coming up. After a mammogram, ultra sound, and biopsy I was diagnosed with stage 2 IDC breast cancer. I wasn't shocked, I didn't break down, or 'freak out'. (I hate that phrase.) The Dr did the biopsy right after the mammogram and ultra sound, I thought as long as I was undressed and there it might as well get done. I did cry when he was doing the biopsy, that's when I knew what the diagnosis would be.

By the end of the week we were sitting in the surgeon's office. I really like my Dr, he is a specialist and about 45 minutes away. He was recommended to me and I am happy I asked. He takes his time and is very good at explaining. The nurses were wonderful too! After another exam and lymph node biopsy I was given tons on information and a really informative book to read. He thinks doing the chemotherapy first would be beneficial to my type of aggressive cancer.

Today we met the medical oncologist. I'll be doing those treatments locally, my Dr agreed to it and can work with that. He's sure of one of the drugs he'll use and is going to do some more research to determine what will be best for me. Guess what? I got to have another breast exam, chest X-ray, and some blood work done.

Insert complications:
We are leaving on Friday for several days in Reno for the Men's National Bowling tournament. We've decided that we can work around the trips I have planned for the next couple of months. I'll have a port (for the chemo) inserted a week from this Thursday (after we return from Reno). I'll see the oncologist as soon as I can after that.

And then there's work.....I know I shouldn't worry about it. I'm not...not much anyway. I worked 1/2 day today, until my Dr appt. Yup, Dr appts are ruling my life now. The way it is now, I'll either be at the Dr or at work....not what I had planned for the end of April/beginning of May.

I am learning a lot (that I didn't want to learn). The American Cancer Society is a very helpful organization. I will elaborate on my experiences as they happen. My blog won't turn into a cancer blog, I still have plenty of other useless stuff to write about and I hope you continue to visit.

If you have any comments I'd LOVE 'em.

3D Cards

Monday night 3 women came over here for classs on 3D cards and here is what we made:

Strange looking card, eh?

 I think this little box is my favorite!

It seemed hard at first, but I know if I had the base already cut and scored I could make it easily.

 This baby rattle card could be for a boy or girl. The background paper looks like a baby blanket.

It shakes, we have glitter and beads inside. 

 Not a color combo I'd normally use, but it works.

 The cards look better in person, a photographer I am not. 

This is a pig, you might not be able to tell because mine is a little 'off'. 

I think she is still cute though!

 I love this simple birdhouse card too.

Once again we have glitter and beads in the hole for this shaker card.

I looks like a tent from the side (I forgot to snap a photo).

These are all Stampin' Up cards from my friend, Carolee, who is also my demonstrator. Thanks for allowing me to participate!!!!

Thoughts On Thursday

I certainly have plenty to think about................

'They' say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.....well I intend to be extremely STRONG! I should be very excited to be starting retirement, it's spring, the sun is shining, the plants are growing and I'll have more time for my grands.

The excitement in my life is not the happy kind. 

I've mentioned that I am training a new person to take my place when I retire and also that we have another new woman that is still learning. That side of the job deals mostly with accounting and money so accuracy is very important. She has been making a lot of mistakes with numbers. The owner was going to let her go to today, but she quit on Tuesday. So now I get to continue to work with my replacement and do the other job too. The extra money I'll make will come in handy. I and Audrey will work extra days when we can.

But

I just been diagnosed with a serious health problem. I am not going to go into detail now, but I may in the future. I think it's important to talk, share experiences, and support each other. Right now I don't know a thing. I'll know more after I see the doctor today. 

I'd appreciate prayer.

Thanks to all of my freinds; my real life ones who have been compassionate and my blogger friends also.

Sometimes I Wonder.........

Yes, Sometimes I wonder if I have a screw or 2 loose. 

We had a relatively nice weekend here.

Saturday I did housework and grandson J came over in the afternoon and spent the night, as usual. Hubby had a friend over in the evening to watch the Badger game. He made brats and hamburgers on the grill and opened a can of beans....no cooking for me. *smile*

But

when he was at the grocery store to get what he wanted he picked up 2 packages of hot dog buns and no hamburger buns. We can make do.

And

we only had a tiny bit of catsup left in the container, hubby added some water to stretch it out and make enough for one more burger. 

I do 95% of the grocery shopping and use catsup very sparingly so wasn't aware that we were almost out. Now that summer is on the way (I hope) I will have to stock up.  It's on my very long grocery list that is next to my long to-do list.

Grandson J remembered the "Cool Canopy" he saw in my binder of craft ideas and he wanted to make one.... the snow has melted so we were able to get into the shed to get the hula hoops.

(He wanted to make this months ago.)

So

we attempted to make one. 

The hula hoop is suppose to hang from a hook....there is a hook on the ceiling in our small extra bedroom, but it's over the vanity table so I came up with this idea. It sorta worked, but, even though the fabric we used was light, the hula hoop still sagged. I didn't want to hang it from the ceiling fan. Or should I put another hook in the ceiling? ....the room has to redone anyway. I wish hubby was as into the grands as I am.

Before we came in to make the canopy we made up some games and played outside with the hula hoops. It felt good to be outside in the sunshine.

Today I have to straighten up the kitchen and living room (how did the hula hoops end up in there?), take care of the dreaded grocery shopping, and have the squishy mammogram done.

At least tonight should be fun. 

I volunteered to have a shaker card class here. A good friend of mine is a Stampin' Up demonstrator and......

It should be fun!

Come back later to see what we made!!!

I'm Ready For Warmer Weather With My Flip Flop Wreath

I saw this wreath (well, one like it) on Facebook or Pinterest and knew I had to make one. I found the flip flops easily enough. Didn't we use to call them thongs? I know I did. 

I know mine isn't as good as the one I saw, but I like it. It certainly adds a lot of color to our white garage with the white truck parked in front of it.

Yes, I did take the snowman wreath off of the fence (that's 6' away).....the neighbors would think I'm schizophrenic if I had flip flops and snowmen next to each other. 

Warmer weather is on the way...let's ENJOY!!!

I Didn't Know That/Nail Cyst

Quite a while ago the nail on my ring finger on my left hand developed a large, strange ridge. I figured I bumped it or something and waited for it to grow out. It never did. I just developed a lump with a clear fluid at the base of my nail. One day I mentioned it to the dermatologist and he said: "It looks like a gelatinous cyst". He didn't seem alarmed so I just let it go.

this is not my finger, from the website below

It progressed and looked much worse than the above picture. A scab appeared at the base of my nail, I picked it off and then it looked like it was getting better......but no, it happened again. 

This long, cold winter has made my hands very dry so I decided to plug in my paraffin wax treatment machine. It feels so nice and does make my hands feel better. After about 3 days of using it I noticed that my cyst looks much better. There's still a lump but I can't see any clear mucus under the skin. When I mentioned it to my doctor this week she said she could send me to a hand surgeon.....I think not! We agreed that if the paraffin dip is helping to continue to use it. I have a friend whose husband has arthritis and uses a paraffin dip also. Not only do they make your hands look better, apparently they are healing. I'm certainly going to keep mine!

Here's the website where I found the picture and it explains more about this cyst. 

Stress, Transitions, With A Little Pride Thrown In

*sigh* April is not starting out any better than March was.........

It's still cold. I don't think we've had one day of average temperatures and very few days of sunshine.

But that's not the worst of things..........even though nicer weather would lift everyone's spirits!

I'm still not what sure what is happening as far as my job goes. In a way I want to work to make some extra money, on the other hand I'll have the opposite schedule of what I have now and that messes with my previous plans. I know the company owners would be understanding because I was planning to be retired and if I do have to work I'll be doing them a favor. That's the least of my worries.....I think.

hail and snow on our deck - April 4

Yesterday was my annual physical. No pap...YES!!!!

But.......I need all kinds of tests done....and what about cholesterol medication? and a pre-diabetes medication? One of the side effects of that one is weight loss (not a bad thing). I have resisted those meds for a couple of years. If I stop to think about it I realize that changing my eating habits could/would lower blood sugars and cholesterol. A little exercise would be a good thing too! Once again I will say that the 'golden years' may not be all they are cracked up to be. 

Hubby's company is closing it's doors on Oct. 1.

Yesterday he came home from work and said "It looks like we'll be moving to Florida". I didn't put much stock in that statement because I KNOW he'd NEVER move, not even for a few years until he retires. The company said they'd make him an offer he couldn't refuse. They don't know him....he's stubborn and selfish and can refuse. What's he going to do then? He's 57. He has to stay where he is until October in order to get the retention package. 

I participated in school activities twice this week with our grandsons. Wednesday was grandparents day. I spent some time in each of the boys classrooms and also brought lunch with them. They are both very bright boys :-)

Last night I picked them up and we went to family math night at the school. We played math games. Considering it was a whole school (6 grades) event they didn't have a big attendance. They enjoyed it. Grandson S won a door prize, he chose a Green Bay Packer poster. When it was over they let everyone else come up and choose something. Of course we had to shop at the book fair...again. Grandson J wanted a pen and a book. I didn't bring enough money for both so he picked out an eraser. 

After we got our jackets on and were on our way out Grandson J says "I have to put this pen back." I'm not sure if he had accidently kept it or was planning on taking it. I'm proud that he knew enough to put it back, I didn't even notice that he still had it.
Also 2 of my other grands nearly made honor roll. As long as they do their best I am very proud.

I've wasted enough time on the computer. Time to get dressed and be off!!! I'll be back later to read your blogs.
Have a good weekend...and if you see the sun send some my way!!!

Thoughts On Thursday

  Have you ever heard the quote : "The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray" by Robert Burns?

Don't you just hate it when you make plans and they don't work out?

I do. Although, as I get older, I am a tiny bit more tolerant of a changes in plans, just a tiny bit. 

When I have my heart set on it, I want it to happen!

....Unless it is a doctor or dentist appointment, I have even been known to change those of my own volition. 

Well....

my plans have changed.

As I left work today one of my bosses had a question for me....

would I be willing to stay on another month to train a new person?

The woman who was hired at the beginning of February just doesn't seem to be working out.

She is making too many mistakes with money matters and I'm not sure if she cares. 

I told the 2 owners that I could stay until the end of May, but I do have a short trip planned and I don't want to work everyday.

It may work out to my advantage though....my social security won't arrive until later in June and that would be over a month without any income. 

Wish me luck with whatever happens!!!

This photo is from our Tuesday night Red Hat meeting. 

I have a purple hat and red clothing on because it's my birthday month.

The restaurant gave me and Gwen a large piece of very good, chocolate cake for our birthdays. That was an unexpected treat!!! 

The 2 other birthday girls were not able to attend the meeting.