Oh, What A Week!

It's me, I'm still here! As usual finding new things to go wrong with me. Why do I do that? If I knew I'd stop!

I've been short of breath all week, the last thoracentecis did not seem to help. Thank God I had a dr appt on Thursday. I got up that day and could barely walk 8' with out being terribly out of breath. I had to take a break 1/2 up or down the stairs. (my bedroom and clothes are upstairs) I have never felt that bad before.

My friend got me into the clinic, I had my blood work done and port flushed. Then I saw the dr.......he ordered a CT scan (for the next week). Thank goodness Carolee spoke up and said "but she can't breath today!" so he got me in that afternoon. On that breezy, cool day she pushed me about 2 blocks over to the hospital to have the test. When we got back to the clinic Kevin was there (after work) so we all piled into the dr  office again. He explained our options, one of which is a pleurx catheter to drain my chest of fluids. While the dr got in touch with the surgeon we walked back to the hospital (Kevin pushing this time) to grab a bite to eat. We got an appt for the next day with the surgeon.

The surgeon is very young and very thorough. She knew everything that I went through since my diagnosis in 2104. She explained what may have happened with my thoracentecis showed us the CT scan, and explained about the drain. My left lung has fluid around it, air around it, it is smaller and doesn't expand. It may be surrounded by a thick mucus fiber which prevents it from working.

So.........Monday afternoon I'm having a pleurx catheter put in. It won't be as bad as I'd thought, I was really scared when dr first mentioned it. But I will be so happy to be able to breath again. The procedure is done with the same local anesthetic as my port placement  and a colonoscopy. Unless something unexpected happens I will go home later in the afternoon. The tube is like an IV tube that will be outside of my body and will be drained as needed. There are much worse things to deal with.

Thursday night I slept really good! Not last night tho, I let the one person who hates me get to me. This woman is refusing to let my step-daughter pick up her nephews for lunch when she comes to visit on Sunday. Jessica hasn't seen the boys since Christmas.

Only one more week to get my port flushed. That is my only plan for today. On friday the chemo nurses gave me a huge piece of birthday cake. They are the best!

Kevin has taken so much time off work to be with me, I feel really bad for his paycheck.  They are short of people right now and he trains the new guys....but he hasn't been there. They are very understanding. We got a nice card and some gift cards from his employer. 

Tomorrow we are having visitors. Monday morning I'm having more company....then off I go to the hospital. 

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. 

Thanks!

Some Cards

So many friends have been so faithful in sending me cards, some from friends I don't even know. It's really nice to find a card or 2 in the mailbox, many with heartfelt messages. 

 I like Cinderella's quote, don't you?

This is just a sampling of the latest cards I've received. 

Thank you!

This week has been quiet, guess that's a blessing. I have to go out every day to have my port flushed....getting dressed and walking to the car is a pain in the **. It's still so very hard to breath. Yesterday a friend took me and then she stayed here for a while and helped me make some soup. 

Tomorrow I have labs, dr appt, and chemo. I am wondering what the dr is going to say about my breathing??? I don't think the thoracentis is an option anymore. 

This weekend we're expecting company so Kev did some cleaning. I kinda asked him to do it.....he doesn't like being told what to do.....but things are different now.

My cough is better today. It is worse when I lay down at night. I'm taking pseudoephedrine and cough for an hour or 2, but then I sleep most of the night. Yes, that IS an improvement.

Happy Hump Day!

And Another Thing

This should conclude my hospital episode. While I was there I was running a fever that was fluctuating. I recently had a procedure done and my white blood count is low so the nurse called the hospitalist and she ordered antibiotics and blood cultures. I've not had a blood culture done  before and in my drowsy state I didn't feel like asking about it, so I just let them take some blood. 

Yesterday morning the clinic called me and I found out what it meant. Well..............it seems like my port is infected....the blood from my arm was ok. My port has to be flushed every day for 2 weeks with an antibiotic. The procedure itself takes about 2 minutes, it takes longer to get things ready for it. That means I have to get dressed and leave the house every stinkin' day. When I explained it to Kev I did not use such nice words. I'm angry because I did not have one problem with my other port (different dr), as soon as I got back to my room after this port was in I had a problem, and I know another woman who got a serious infection (and the same dr put her port in).

After I calmed down I realized that this probably was a blessing....it was caught early, before I had to be hospitalized again.

Even after the thorancentesis I am still short of breath. I will have to discuss this with the dr next week. Thursday night I did not cough at all, friday was worse and I had one spell after I went to bed last night. 

This morning after I came downstairs and sat at the table (my landing spot) hubby came up to me and rubbed my shoulders, kissed me, and told me he loves me. I know it's hard for him to watch me go from someone who scraped wallpaper off walls, did all the housework, and putzed outside to someone who can barely walk up and down the stairs. He doesn't like me to use the stairs and is willing to get what I need. I hate this helpless feeling. This morning he is golfing and after lunch we're off the the hospital.

Meals on Wheels: well....they are nothing to write home about...I've only had 2...and will give it a chance....it is still a hot meal for me. I can eat about 1/2 of the meal. I am not picky and not a complainer. 

I hope everyone is having a good weekend!

part 2 of My Cross

I'm not sure what happened with my last post, but it got 'all goofy'. So please read that post first, then this one will make sense.

Kevin brought up my already packed hospital bag, sadly I have learned to pack a bag so all he has to do is add my chargers to it, grab it, and go. We sat, we waited, we stared at the tv and no one came in after the initial check in procedures, Guess I should be ok with that. One good thing about this hospital is room service; you order what you want & when you want it, from 6:30am to 6:30Pm. I ordered the chicken stir fry and it was just as good as it was in Feb when I was there.

After Kev left I kept the tv on and tried to read a little. I go to bed really early......8 ish....so was dozing when the nurses came in before 9 to check vitals, etc. I don't remember the times or the order  of events but I was running a fever, had a bad cough, and needed my evening meds. I do know I had my port accessed and had blood cultures from there and my arm. I was given an IV antibiotic....all this somewhere in the middle of the night. The time really didn't matter, I couldn't sleep anyway. I wanted to go home to my bed so badly I was almost in tears. Sometime after 2am I fell asleep, but then it started all over. I do my best sleeping in the morning, so I'd 'wake up' for what was needed then roll on my side and try to doze off again. I remember going down for x-rays before 8, when I woke up in my room I was still wearing my glasses. I was tired. Shortly after that the nurse asked me if I wanted to see the priest, I am not catholic so I said 'no'. She comes back in and tells me it's my pastor. Of course I see him for a few minutes....then I try to sleep some more. 

At one point when checking my oxygen level it's determined to be low, so I get some oxygen too. It did help.

Around 9 I decided it's time to start the day. Just as I was looking at the menu the kitchen calls to see if I want breakfast....I try an omelet. Breakfast is not my best meal and they were not real eggs, but I did manage to eat about 1/2. The weight keeps falling off so I know I need to eat.

I found out that my doctor would be in over the noon hour so I let my hubby know. He took Thursday and friday off to be with me. I'm a pretty quiet hospital patient (except when coughing), I don't turn the tv during the day, I sit in the chair in a quiet room and read or stare out the window.

We arrived home about 2 and I immediately went upstairs for a nap. I did get some sleep, ate dinner, watched tv and went back to bed. 

I slept pretty good that night......so nice to be in my own bed. 

to be continured. 

My Cross

I found five times in the new testament where the Lord says "I am to deny myself and take up my cross and follow Him".

It seems my cross is my cancer.....I jokingly wonder why He didn't give me the cross of a 'too beautiful face' or an 'overly rich spouse'? Through 'the luck of the draw' I drew the cancer straw. We all have our crosses to bear, your's may not be apparent now. I can listen to Jesus or my pastor tell me to pick up my cross but not another human (who has his/her own cross).

Remember, for the past week I've been coughing and short of breath (SOB). I wonder if I have a sinus infection. Wednesday I went in for my blood work and spoke to the nurse regarding my SOB, she sent me to the doctor, who sent me for a chest x-ray, and then to the hospital for a thorancentesis.....my 2nd one. (Removing fluid from around the lungs)  The doctor extracted 1.3 liters of brownish liquid. After that was another chest x-ray and  a Pneumothorax (puncture of lung) was found......the same thing happened the first time around. Originally I was supposed to stay at the hospital 2-3 hours for observation, but my oncologist decides than an overnight hospital stay is called for. I am not looking 

forward  it

A New Week (and some answers)

Yes, time marches on......and it's Monday again......to me one day is just like the other.

The weekend was quiet, except for my coughing, especially at night. Even though I started taking Robitussin last night for mucus, I am still up most of the night. I might be a little better, but my ribs and chest are feeling it today. I find that if I sleep on my left side I don't cough as much....weird. My doctor's nurse said that taking it was OK, in fact, he often prescribes it. 

A couple of friends did stop over to visit this past weekend.

My breathing seems a bit better today too!

Yay! It was warm enough for me to sit outside and have lunch today. The sunshine felt sooooooo nice. A cooling trend with some rain is on the way, actually just normal temps. 

Today was my first day with Meals on Wheels. It was a nice big meal consisting of: baked chicken, squash, baked potato, dinner roll with butter, carton of milk, and dessert. I did not eat the squash because I did not feel like seasoning it. I'll try the dessert a bit later, I was too full at noon. I am going to try the Meals on Wheels program to see if that helps me to eat better. Food is more appealing if it is cooked and set before me. Guess what? Next Thursday is liver and onions.....I like liver. Right now I am taking meals 4 days a week.....I may change that. 

Tomorrow my girlfriend is taking me shopping, I have one pair of pants that fit. Hopefully some of the capris I have packed away will fit, I don't need a lot of clothes. I am not that excited about shopping, it's a lot of walking. I'll need to push a cart to keep me going, wish me luck.

Now to answer a question or 2:      

I bought my turbans from The America Cancer site and some from Amazon. 

We live in a tri-level and yes, if my breathing makes it too hard for me to get upstairs to the bedroom, we're going to set up a bed in the lower family room. Of course, I prefer my own bedroom.

Nothing else exciting is planned for this week. Hope you have a good week!

It's Not Always Prettty

This roller coaster ride called cancer is not always pretty. Consider this a warning that this will not be my (trying to be) usual upbeat post.

Friday was a pretty good day but late that afternoon I could hear Kevin in the bathroom....all of a sudden my stomach just started to turn.....any way, thank goodness Kev ran up with a waste basket for me. I've been able to keep my nausea under control but, apparently not, my weak stomach. 

Later I went upstairs to watch TV/read in bed early, 8ish. I laid down and coughed, and coughed and coughed.....for 4 hours. After sleeping for a few hours I was up again with that same stomach issue. I made it to the bathroom. Thankfully I did get some more sleep that morning. 

I have to weigh myself every morning and usually I've been loosing weight....but after today I saw that I had gained 8# in two days...not good....most likely I am retaining water. I took an extra water pill....and they work! Hopefully I'll be able to walk up the stairs tonight without being so out of breath. The last several days I've been coughing more and have been more short of breath.

This afternoon I had another coughing spell and ended up using the waste basket to throw up in. I cough so hard that I just can't help it. I think it could be my lungs. I hope this is not the new normal.

 Guess who'll be sleeping with  bucket by her bed?

This is not fun..........not knowing what to expect each day. 

I am afraid to go upstairs and lay down.

This Week's Activities

It was a busy week for me.

Any day I have to get dressed and leave the house I consider it a  busy day.

Tuesday evening I went to book club.

Wednesday is chemo day, as we waited for the blood chemistry results I found out that chemo was a no go, my white blood count was too low. It seems like my body can only handle 2 weeks of chemo in a row. Next week is my scheduled off week.....so far it's been 2 weeks of chemo, and 2 weeks off. There's nothing, short of a transfusion, that can build white blood cells. 

Thursday

I was able to attend grandparents day for one of my grandsons who lives in town. Since I don't, drive my girlfriend took me. Deb is also Jalen's Godmother, so it was fitting that she go too. I think the student's favorite part of grandparents day is that we bring them lunch. It's ok, I know it means a lot when someone shows up at school for the student.

On friday my daughter and son came for a visit, it wasn't planned that they come on the same day, it just worked out that way. They came from different directions and arrived within 5 minutes of each other. Tim wanted to go out for lunch so off we went. We opted for the new Mexican place in town. We all enjoyed our lunch. I had a lot of food....only ate 1/2 of it. Now I have lunch for tomorrow. Afterward we drove down to the beach and just watched the waves, birds, boats. We really had a nice visit. Those 'kids' don't get together, even at the holidays.....so this is an additional blessing.

I received this magnet along with a turban I ordered. 

My daughter gave me the Bad Hare Day gummies. Is is possible to have a bad hair day if you don't have any hair???

We don't have any weekend plans. Kevin was scheduled to work on saturday but found out they are not working. He wants to go golfing at least one day.....I don't know if he has gone at all this spring or not, he usually stays home with me. He deserves some time with the guys doing something he enjoys. 
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that it's finally warming up here.....50 here today. It was warmer away from the lake, but we had sunshine and 50 was warmer than we've seen in a long time.
Have a great weekend peeps :-)  

Thursday's Thoughts

Found this on Facebook (where else?) and had to steal it.

*Why is it that I can lay in bed think of 6 things to do and the next day they've all dissipated?

*Lately I'm into Mexican food, but most likely one day I'll wake up and think eeewwwww. I'm fickle like that. I've always loved chicken dumpling soup. Last night I went to book club at a local bar/restaurant and the smell of the soup was awful. I am so glad no one at our table ordered it. 

*Hubby keeps trying to feed me frozen or boxed foods: 1) they're usually too high in sodium for me and 2) I don't like 'em. 

* Canceled another trip this week. Hopefully I get on some day trips this summer. Planning ahead just doesn't work for me, I am never sure how I am going to feel on any particular day. 

*I hate wearing something on my head, so if you just pop in, give me a minute. Oh, and all of my Red Hat friends who 'hate to wear hats' - 'suck it up'   *smile*

*Every twinge, pain, or cough I have scares me, I wonder????

*Yes, sometimes I have a sad day.....I took 10 minutes to feel sorry for myself Wednesday morning, I haven't cried since we got the diagnosis. Now it's back to living!

*I do plan to print my blog into a book. It's not cheap but I'd like it in case any of my grands want to look at it, I want them to remember.  I was going to do it after my first episode with cancer, I thought it would be 'over', but it's never over, even if it doesn't metastasize.....it's always in the back of your mind.

A Few Blessings

I've heard of people telling that cancer was a blessing in their lives..... After my first bout I really couldn't think of how it blessed me. I was just so thankful that I got through it and I was ready to get on with my life!

And then what? Two years later it's back. *sigh* *tears* *unbelief* Well, here I go again. 

 I can see blessings now.....

My son calls me every week and visits too. Previously we barely said 2 words to each other. He and Kevin are talking, whereas before it was a cold war. 

My daughter texts me nearly every day. They are visiting more often too. My oldest children have busy, teen age children, so it is not easy. I am so proud of the parents they have become and of their spouses too. 

This is my 12 year old grandson, my son's boy. Tim took him turkey hunting this past weekend and Tyler got a turkey. This kid doesn't smile easy.....but he must be pretty happy because I see a smile. Next weekend Tim said he'll take Tailyn (15 yr old granddaughter) hunting. The kids are active in school events and outdoor sports, I think that's pretty cool.

Kevin and I talk more too. He shows his appreciation as we muddle through each day. Yes, we use humor a lot.....that's my M.O. I think it was yesterday that he said I looked like Albert Einstein (with less hair). It is what it is.

The good news is that it will warm up to normal temps by the weekend.....you don't know how happy that make me! I am expecting visitors this weekend.

A Few Things I've Been Reading

This post is inspired by one of my followers.

My free Kindle books have been put to good use. My Kindle is easy to hold in bed and I can find a new book whenever I am ready for one. I can easily check facebook and my email too. Is that a good thing? I read about a book a day...too many to share on here. Here are a couple of my favorites. 

  

The Fuller Brush Man was a longer book, took me 2 days, it had a lot of twists and turns. 

 The Murder House is the book our book club read. We haven't met to discuss it yet so I am not giving any details out. At first I wanted to say OMG but now I'm thinking there's some predictability in the story. Hopefully I'll make it to book club to hear what others have to say about it.

 The Prayer box takes place on the Outer Banks and gives some insight on life in that area. Lisa has a shorter book out that is almost a volume one to this book.

 

This story takes place in New Orleans......need I say more? It's colorful and fast moving. I'd read more of her books.

I don't remember what this book was about, just that I liked it.

`

I'm thrifty, so I don't buy books for my Kindle, but I'll take the free ones. I thought I'd never get them all read.....at the rate I am going now, I just might....I just might. Sometimes it's a volume 1 in a series. I've only had one problem with that....the story didn't end, but I am not purchasing the next book. I have tons of other books to choose from.

The moral of this post: Never look a gift horse in the mouth....or never pass up a free book (only the ones I'd like to read).

How Am I?

That's a common question when someone has a health condition....how is so & so? I can imagine that friends & family get tired of being asked. Sometimes there is nothing new to say. 

That's one of the reasons this blog had turned (once again) into                                                 a cancer blog.  

People who don't see me often can know exactly how I am doing. I try not to sugar coat things, but I will spare you the gory details.....at least for now. 

After 4 rounds of chemo I am feeling somewhat better and feel like getting out of the house. I really can't do anything strenuous or walk very far, I get too pooped. I clomp along with my right foot, very slowly. I move in slow motion because I tend to be unsteady (& lightheaded) sometimes. Kevin does 99% of the housework. 

I'm not really nauseous but my stomach is not right either. Most of the time I don't really care to put anything in my mouth. I am having a hard time maintaining my lowest, ever adult weight. Kevin asks me every day what I ate.

I don't sleep very good, I wake up in the wee hours of the morning and try to get back to sleep.....sometimes it doesn't come until Kevin leaves for work after 5. I started taking melatonin last night....oh my...lotsa dreams. Dr says to give it 7 - 10 days. I'm always tired, or my eyes are........my mind runs in circles. 

I really miss my hair; my short, curly, oddly colored hair. I liked it...but it's gone. 

Last night we went to Buffalo Wild Wings to meet a former co-worker of Kevin's. That was the first time I had been out of the house  for something other than medical reasons. Previously I had no desire to leave or even get dressed. I put make up on and found a winter hat to wear, it was snowing and I thought a straw hat would look a bit out of place. (I'm looking up in this photo, the cap underneath doesn't show that much).

I actually ate nachos and 2 bites of a cheeseburger. 

As we were leaving I noticed that Van had the size sticker still on the back of his jeans. When I took off my sweater after we got home I was surprised to see that I had it on inside out. I think Kevin was dressed properly. What a motley crew we were. 

What do I do? I spend time on the computer and read a lot. I wash the dishes and will start doing the laundry. No day time TV for me. L.A.Z.Y

Emotionally I am OK also, or maybe good.......I'm getting better. Who wants to deal with the kind of diagnosis I received? I'm trying, I am. 

I am thankful to have the support of family and good friends.

Your prayers help too. Thanks!

Never Too Old To Learn

Nope, you're never too old to learn something. I like learning and taking classes.

Two years ago when I had cancer I developed CHF (congestive heart failure - retained water around my heart,  irregular heart beats, more). I was so short of breath that I could barely walk 10', much less do any house work....it was really hard for me to let people help. 

I'm reading a devotional for cancer patients and got stuck on one of the entries: Serving By Being Served

Those paragraphs repeated what my pastor told me 18 months ago.

The Bible verse "It is more blessed to give than to receive." Acts 20:35 gets stuck in our minds. I know it is in mine;

 I love to give people things, help, or to listen.

"....many of us feel more comfortable serving than being served. In fact, we may even feel uncomfortable when we are served, uncomfortable at being the object of concern of others as we battle cancer or other diseases.It is a lesson in humility that one way of serving might be to give others the opportunity to serves us."

Something to think about, huh? For me it was.

"Not to accept their services graciously may be denying them the very opportunity for service that they need as much as we do."

 The day after chemo #4 and I feel really good, it may catch up with me tomorrow.....if it does, I'll deal with it then.

It's Official and What The Heck?

Yes, it's official, I have to wear something on head now. My hair is just too thin. I like this colorful baseball hat for today....cheery on a cloudy, cold day. Of course I'd look better with some make up, but who wears make up to chemo? Not me. I guess some people do, maybe I will this summer when I get out more.

Kevin is doing nearly everything around the house, and we do not do one task alike. For instance, I think he sorts the clothes into the laundry baskets, I never put dirty clothes in the laundry basket. He folds differently and can't tell what goes in the upstairs bathroom, or the downstairs one, or the kitchen.

I think he ruined this shirt by putting it in the laundromat dryer and then in a clothes basket. I will take over laundry when the new dryer comes. No word yet about that. (insert sad face)

He also hates dirty dishes in the sink, he wants them on the counter. When they're dirty I put 'em in the sink and when I have enough I add water, dish soap, and wash, Viola!

You should have been here when he cleaned out/defrosted the refrigerator & freezer. We shared some laughs then. He threw out a lot of stuff, I save a lot. We have 4 containers of mustard. I use it twice a year and am the only one. We have a LOT of different kinds of cheese, yes it was on sale and I only eat a certain kind. The freezer and fridge each have a 'cheese section'. Kevin tossed jars of stuff (after asked me about it). He's throwing things left and right into the garbage can.....in the jars. I would never have done that, I would have emptied them and recycled the cans and jars. The same thing happened with the freezer items. I save small portions of veggies, etc. because sometimes that is all I need. They're gone. Then we found one bag, gallon size, with smaller bags inside filled with 2 light brown 'ovalish' 'things'. I knew what everything else was....but what was this? Too fat and short and the wrong color for hot dogs. Meal portions of brats? No.........too light and short. AHA! I remember now.....peeled and broken in half, ripe bananas. Kevin was about to throw them away when I said 'no'. I said I use those, he looked at my like I was off my rocker. I put frozen bananas in my smoothies all the time or I use them for banana bread. I only use a fresh banana if I have to. Kev was thinking I just ate them in the frozen state. That guy knows nothing about me. I didn't argue about a thing...it's just stuff and probably needed to be thrown out anyway....certainly not worth arguing over.

Husbands....how the heck do they think? Mine is helping A LOT so I am NOT complaining....just sharing.

Now we have a nice and clean refrigerator!

Chemo went well and I even ate a decent supper. Last night I just couldn't eat. Thursday and friday could be 'interesting' days....I don't plan anything for the first couple of days after Chemo.

Thanks for visiting my blog, your prayers, and your comments!!! I know I should email everyone personally.....sorry. I do try to visit your blogs. 

Have a good almost the weekend.

Bah Humbug

Yeah, that's kinda how I feel.

Bah humbug!

Phooey!

To heck with it!

I've been up and down (mostly) this week. I feel the same as ever, no better or worse...lethargic...don't give a damn if I do anything or not. 

I'm not depressed or crying, just a little sad and don't care about much. 

Kevin and I are handling everything quite well. I am so thankful that we both can see humor in most situations. Of course we have our serious talks too. It's just so nice that he sits down and talks to me more now. 

I'm sure I'll get over it, hopefully sooner rather than later. 

My appetite is not improving and I've lost a little weight again. I do eat 3 small meals a day and try to throw in a snack too. The only things I really like are my low sodium pickles and V-8 juice, neither which are very good for me. Hubby makes sure I eat. 

It doesn't help that I just sit in the house and don't do anything other than read. I can't drive, I don't feel alert enough and with the nerves in my right foot screwed up I don't want to. When that happened 2 years ago I almost hit a car in a parking lot.....so I'll just wait. 

The weather has something to do with staying in the house all day too. Our average temperature for this time of year is 52, but we are LUCKY to see the mid 40's and/or sunshine. Tomorrow's high is predicted to be 35. That's depressing in itself, huh?

I wanna go outside and read, walk around the yard to check if any flowers are coming up, and soak up some sun. I bet I could even crawl around and pull a few weeds. 

I ordered a couple of cute hats and headbands today, I found 2 straw hats in my closet and with the ones I got last week I should have enough.

Still no dryer.....MAYBE thursday or friday. I sure hope so, the laundromat dryer did not do our clothes any favors. I told Kevin not to use anything other than the shortest cycle....he's doesn't listen very good either. There are many things that I would have not put in the dryer and/or hung up right away. Live and learn, I guess.  

I think I'll look for a low sodium beef vegetable soup recipe, and easy recipe I can make, I like soup.   And then I'll find a new book to read, I average one a day.   I finished our book club book 2 days ago. I'd like  to attend book club next week, hope I can remember what the book was about by that time.     I have to start getting out of the house.  

Chemo tomorrow, wish me well!      

If It Isn't One Thing, It's Another

Another week is over.

I completed my 3rd chemo and am suffering the side effects.

I did get a good night's sleep last night.....ahhhh  :-) so I am sure today will be better.

Hubby was up early this morning doing laundry and dishes. All of our clothes are clean....just a bit wet. You see, the other day our dryer died......and the new one won't be delivered until the middle of next week. The store doesn't stock that gas dryer....they are expensive!.....so Kev is off to the laundromat later this morning to dry everything. The things that guy does for me. We got a new washer last June, and this dryer can't be more than 5 years old. sad, very sad.

Now, the ice cuber on our refrigerator is not working. If you know me, you know I LOVE ice, I like lots of ice in my cold drinks. I'll have to ask Kev to dig out the ice cube trays from the basement. It's just a little thing, but what is ice tea without ice???

We are supposed to get snow today, I did see flurries earlier.... MAYBE the lake will keep us warm enough to only get more rain??? I think everyone is depressed because we have only seen rain/clouds recently. 

It's April and everyone is going on vacation.....everyone but me. My girlfriend is leaving for AZ. Another friend is going on a bus trip out east to see the Biltmore Manson. I and a friend were supposed to be on that trip :-(  Carolee and I would have had  ton of fun with Carla. I am the one who REALLY wanted to take that trip, I've wanted to see the Biltmore for several years.  But it's not happening. Kevin did cancel his bowling trip to Reno, he doesn't want to leave me for 4 days. I am sure someone could have looked in on me and I would have been OK, but I am still glad he's not going. 

So, instead of going on trips, and to grandparents day, and to my granddaughters's dance recitals I am going to chemo and dr appointments. 

Oh yeah, I had other trips planned that were canceled and more that may have to be cancelled. I am glad that last summer was a good one and that I was able to do as much as I wanted. 

As long as I am in complaint mode, here's more: my weight is down again. I am hoping it's just water weight from my lungs. That seems to be improving. I still get pretty darn winded but I can sleep on my left side now, a few days ago I could not breath when I tried to lay on my left side. In case I didn't explain earlier, that's why I use a wheel chair if I have to walk any distance, I am just too winded (from my lung problems).

And that's the way it is!