Thursday, January 22, 2015

Thursday's Thoughts

As my breast cancer surgery date nears I am not anxious yet......
I am trying to be realistic. The cardiologist could have a reason why we can't go through with it.(Although I doubt that will happen, after all I will be at a hospital known for it's cardiac care) I could wake up and find that I've had a much more intensive surgery than anticipated. I'm having a lumpectomy and lymph node (how many???) removal. I'm praying that my heart is strong enough to make it through without any problems.  I'm packing a bag for more than the overnight stay I am scheduled for....I like to be prepared. 
I'm requesting and thanking you for your prayers.

The defibrillator that I've been wearing since before Christmas has remained silent :-)
I hope that's a sign that my heart is improving. Although I do have episodes of light-headedness or just feeling weird occasionally. 

Yesterday I was reminded of my dream that I had shortly after my diagnosis. I was scooting over a river on a big log, once or twice I tipped but I did not fall off. I made it to the other side. I am confident that God was telling me that I'll make it though this. 

My hair is growing back.....very white/blond? but not the red/strawberry blond I am use to. So what do I do? I dream that when I brush it and fix it it is longer than it looks and it's my normal color.....but then I get up and look in the mirror and it's the same short, white hair it was the day before. I am getting braver and not wearing my wig. It's kind of a pain. I wear a winter hat when I go out (too cold without it) or a pink baseball cap if I am inside. At my girlfriend's stamping parity I did not wear anything, after all this is real life!

I should probably make phone calls today: 
an appointment with the radiologist
call to Jill (whom is a cancer survivor I met at the hospital)

I've been making arrangements with friends to drive me to doctor appointments for the first week that I am home. I won't be able to drive for at least a week. I am not sure what to expect. I was told that I will be able to use my right arm (the one where the lymph node removal is). That's a relief, I am soooo right handed.

Cancer is such a thief; a very stealthy thief, silent, possible deadly, persistent, and just plain nasty!
It's a life changer to be sure.
Thankfully I have heard from so many people who are survivors!!!! I am so happy for you and will join your club (with God's grace).


  1. Praying for you every day......out loud, by NAME and on purpose!!!!
    This is scary but you can DO this!!!! By God's grace, you can DO ANYTHING!!!!
    Looking forward to an update.

  2. So wonderful that God gave you a dream! I do believe He does that! I will continue to pray for you!

  3. Linda, I know your dream was a gift from God to let you know everything is going to be okay. There's a quote by Ruth Bell Graham that might speak to you today, "worship and worry cannot live int he same heart, they are mutually exclusive." God knows everything about you, about your doctors, about your medical condition, and what the outcome will be. There's no need to allow fear to creep in...just trust in Him and rest in knowing that He's got it all under control. Love and prayers ... Bonnie

  4. CANCER is an insidious disease - you can do it girl! I will be praying for you. My right lymph node - 3 were removed - you can use it - but they do recommend that the blood pressure and blood draws be out of the left. You might have some restrictions from raising your hand for awhile. Now i had double mastectomy - so it was a little different. And yes it is scary. Prayers and hugs, sandie

  5. I feel that you will be a wonderful survivor with a great story of how God took care of your cancer and heart!

  6. I've been away for a while and not reading much but I thought about you and thought I'd jump over to see how you're doing. I'm glad that I did to get the update. I will be praying for you. I believe in dreams. Sounds like a message there for you. Take it as that and continue to believe! Prayers will continue.