Thursday's Thoughts

As my breast cancer surgery date nears I am not anxious yet......

I am trying to be realistic. The cardiologist could have a reason why we can't go through with it.(Although I doubt that will happen, after all I will be at a hospital known for it's cardiac care) I could wake up and find that I've had a much more intensive surgery than anticipated. I'm having a lumpectomy and lymph node (how many???) removal. I'm praying that my heart is strong enough to make it through without any problems.  I'm packing a bag for more than the overnight stay I am scheduled for....I like to be prepared. 

I'm requesting and thanking you for your prayers.

The defibrillator that I've been wearing since before Christmas has remained silent :-)

I hope that's a sign that my heart is improving. Although I do have episodes of light-headedness or just feeling weird occasionally. 

Yesterday I was reminded of my dream that I had shortly after my diagnosis. I was scooting over a river on a big log, once or twice I tipped but I did not fall off. I made it to the other side. I am confident that God was telling me that I'll make it though this. 

My hair is growing back.....very white/blond? but not the red/strawberry blond I am use to. So what do I do? I dream that when I brush it and fix it it is longer than it looks and it's my normal color.....but then I get up and look in the mirror and it's the same short, white hair it was the day before. I am getting braver and not wearing my wig. It's kind of a pain. I wear a winter hat when I go out (too cold without it) or a pink baseball cap if I am inside. At my girlfriend's stamping parity I did not wear anything, after all this is real life!

I should probably make phone calls today: 

an appointment with the radiologist

call to Jill (whom is a cancer survivor I met at the hospital)

I've been making arrangements with friends to drive me to doctor appointments for the first week that I am home. I won't be able to drive for at least a week. I am not sure what to expect. I was told that I will be able to use my right arm (the one where the lymph node removal is). That's a relief, I am soooo right handed.

Cancer is such a thief; a very stealthy thief, silent, possible deadly, persistent, and just plain nasty!

It's a life changer to be sure.

Thankfully I have heard from so many people who are survivors!!!! I am so happy for you and will join your club (with God's grace).