This morning, when it was still dark, I awoke .....nothing unusual. What popped into/out of my mind was "'Thy will be done....".
As a Christian I know it's from the Lord's Prayer.When our grandson spends the night we say it together before we go to bed. Last night he told me he'd say it in his head. OK.
Several years ago I took a course at our church, the adult confirmation class. I was confirmed as an 8th grader but wanted to review and am glad I did. As a teen we just want to get through it, we really don't care that much about what it means.....at least I don't think I did. In the adult class we dug deeper and asked more thoughtful questions. "Thy will be done".....NOT our will, but HIS will. If you think about it it's not an easy thing to ask for.
So why did that phrase pop into my head? I had not fallen asleep praying that sentence.
Maybe because I have another chemo treatment tomorrow.......I am stressing about it (don't reprimand me for it, it's hard not to).....it will be a long day and an 'icky' week lies ahead. I am trying to concentrate on TODAY, but I am human.
Do I need to be reminded that HIS will WILL be done? I have absolutely no control. ......probably.
I am also worried about my grandsons, their parents have been separated for several weeks and I don't think they will be able to reconcile, which is probably for the best. Their whole marriage has been 'off' since day 1. The boys have never had a stable home life and I worry for them.
I am thankful for the cards, phone calls and prayers I continue to receive. I thank all of my friends for their support.
Praying for your treatment tomorrow, that you won't have an icky week and for your grandsons. It is His Will. not ours. Thanks for that reminder :)
ReplyDeletewarmly,
deb
Linda, thank you for being open and honest about your feelings. It seems we're both learning how to process them and move on with our lives. What a wonderful reminder that indeed we are not in control, only God is! Isn't it funny how sometimes we think we are in control of things in our lives? I think Satan uses that snare to trap us into self sufficiency because he knows that if we think we've got it all handled we don't need to rely on God for our strength! But as Christians, we know how desperately we need God to carry us through difficult circumstances. He's been teaching me so much about trusting in Him and resting in Him this year. Since I received my diagnosis of Cancer, I've had to realize that I am in control of NOTHING in my life...but do you know what, when I learned to release that control completely to God, I felt suddenly free and able to let go and just relax in His mighty arms. It is a wonderful feeling to just rest in Him. I am praying for you this week. I am asking God to allow this chemo treatment to come easily for you with no horrible side effects. Although our paths are different in treatment right now, I do consider you not only my "pink sister" but also my sister in Christ. Love and prayers are coming your way...hang in there and continue to stay strong! I am thankful for your friendship :)
ReplyDeleteThinking of you in treatment as I read this. Sending hugs and prayers.
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